There she sat in weekend adoption training, listening to the instructors about the lives of the children she could possibly adopt. BAMM! It hit her, “I was one of those children.” How did she come from that life to where she is today? What pushed her to strive to become rich? It starts with heartache, love, and defiance.
Defying what fate had handed her, she overcame tough times, scary situations, and unspeakable abuse. She felt like her Irish great-grandparents who immigrated to the United States during the potato famine. They were searching for a new life in America and an American Identity. A new life was just what she needed, to become rich. A new life that begins with moving on to the future, yet never forgetting where you came from or the lessons learned. 
She needed to find her American identity, indeed she did. She’s a compassionate achiever, naturally artistic, and successful. Being rich is not making large sums of money, or having more than the next person. It is understanding what you have achieved and being proud of yourself. It is the freedom to choose your own destiny.
She couldn’t believe her life as a child was flashing by in her mind. “I should have been taken from my mother. My God why didn’t I realize that at the time? I knew our home was embarrassing and not clean but I thought that was normal, at least it was normal to me. The lack of food was often, cigarettes always came first, after all that was my mother’s right.” She thought to herself her right was to have food damnit! If her mother was living, what would she say to her about how wrong it was to buy the cigarettes? She loves her and will always love her, but that doesn’t make her actions right. 
All the insecurities she felt as a child, she was reliving during this adoption training. How embarrassing it was to start crying and everyone wondering what is wrong with that woman. Her thoughts became too much, she needed to snap out of it, and quick.
River Girl’s older sister Sissy was of great influence. She rescued her every summer to teach her that a better life existed. Sissy taught her many things such as manners, strength, and love. This learning was of such great importance to River Girl. She really believed her Sissy was her mother, not Sarah Belle. She would insist that Sissy gave birth to her when she was young and that everyone was lying to her. What wishful thinking on River Girl’s part.
As River Girl grew older she realized her sister was guiding her to freedom, the freedom to choose the life of the rich. As Sarah Belle grew more ill as the years progressed, River girl realized how she feared losing her mother; it was a constant fear and a very real fear. The weight of the fear of losing her mother, being a mother to herself, shopping for groceries every day, cooking, and taking care of her mother was more than any child should endure. Sissy realized how River Girl was expected to take care of their mother and she begged Sarah Belle to let her keep River Girl. But, Sarah Belle wouldn’t hear of it. After all, who would take care of her? The question should have been who was taking care of River Girl? The answer, River Girl herself was a teenager in charge of her own life. A dream most teenagers dream about is to be in charge of their own lives. However, River Girl’s dream was not to be in charge of herself. She just dreamed of a mother taking care of her. Just as the foster children she was training to adopt want a safe home, and parents who will take care of them. How much simpler can it be? All she wanted was a clean home, food, and no worries, just as it should be for every child.
Even though River Girl’s mother didn’t care or want her to go to high school. River did care she was not going to stay in Bellevue, Kentucky nor marry anyone from there. River wasn’t ever going to get married nor have kids. She was going to go to college, have a career and be successful. She would not ever forget where she came from, a small poor town in Kentucky with a beautiful church that towers above all the German row houses. All the houses are so close together if one house had roaches or black shiny cold water bugs, and that house would spray, then the bugs would travel to the next house. It always seemed to her that no one had any ambitions or dreams to get out of Bellevue. Even though she wanted to leave so badly back then, she still missed many things about the town. She misses the long walks up and down the hills to get to the homemade candy at Schneider’s Candy shop. She missed watching and listening to the Colopy paddle boat go up and down the Ohio River, a river she never touched her toe to for the fear of drowning. This fear came from the stories her mother told her about people drowning in the almighty river and the body recovery teams finding it, pulling it to shore and the body exploding. Is that something to tell a small child? I guess it worked because she never went into the river.
After, high school graduation, Sissy decided that it was too much for River Girl to take care of their mother. Sarah Belle needed increasing help due to her health issues, and Sissy knew that River Girl could not provide that help any longer. Decisions were made to move their mother to a nursing home in Columbus, Ohio. Sarah Belle was not happy about this move, but her life was truly out of her hands.
On a beautiful October day in 1988, River Girl had to say good bye to a life that was hard, but she graciously accepted it and was ready for a change. Long time neighbors came to say good bye, including her first love who she now knows loved her as long as she had loved him. He had long been married for two years, while hugging her and saying goodbye he gently whispered in her ear that he married the wrong girl. That was okay because she met the man of her dreams in 1989 and together they made the decision to adopt a child. There they sat in the adoption training, with old cans of worms opening for her and a devoted loving husband comforting and reminding her how far she had came in life. 
She had started out going to college, but then found a career in a local grocery chain. She was the youngest Floral Specialist ever placed in the position. Her ambitions continued to grow stronger, and her desires to be successful were even more intense than ever before. She watched the company she grew to love begin to crumble, so she decided to buy her own business in a small town. She moved to the small town that was very similar to Bellevue. Her business was profitable and growing. However, the desire to find her identity was not complete there was still something missing in her life.

Then all the training to be a Foster/Adoptive parent paid out handsomely. They received a call about a new born baby boy at the hospital that needed to be picked up the next day. This was the River Girl’s chance to overcome all the diversities in her life. She now understood everything that happened to her was for a reason. The reason was lying in her arms crying, a beautiful life.
The baby was a life that she could make a difference in, that baby boy would give her meaning. It didn’t matter how successful she was or how many things she acquired; it was love that made her rich. The American Dream to overcome all diversities and the compassion to teach the riches of being proud of who you are and the freedom to choose you own destiny just as her ancestors had done three generations ago. She finally understood what she achieved in life and she was proud of herself. That would be the American Identity she would teach to her new born son. Her son plus two more boys were adopted, and so three young lives were in her loving hands. She will teach them that no matter what is handed to them, they can overcome it. She will give them the riches of a lifetime of her defiance and the gift of compassion to achieve being proud of who they are, and the power to choose their own American Identity, just as she had done.