I cannot understand how sad I felt  just after returning from 

“The Happiest Place in the world”,where characters roam and dreams come alive.

How my heart breaks,

For the future,

Even though, right now they are my babies, 

They are in my care, in my arms,under my watchful eye

I change their diapers,pick up their messes,and kiss their boo boos,

Teaching them the basics of life in the preschool years has never been a dream

But now I wouldn’t give it up for anything.

I cringe at the day they no longer need me

They no longer want to search for colors around the house,crawl around the kitchen, dump ice cream on the floor, or yell at me in their cute, little baby voices.

Just trying to test out their voices and power at ages 10months and 2, they are changing so fast.

I think of the future,but I don’t want to be there just yet,

I want to savor the present when my babes are in my arms,

When I am up breastfeeding and my little baby girl pats my back as I pick her up for a midnight feeding.

She smiles, she claps, I never had a baby do that.

My little guy is also such a character. He loves to play, he loves his trains, and as he discovers his world

He tells me the funniest things, “mom, the TV is broken,” 

“No, Nic. It’s just off.” 

“Mom, it’s broke,” he says pointing to his untied robe. 

“No, Nic. It’s just untied.”

When the doorbell rings and a package arrives, my little guy runs to the door.

I open it,he gets the package,and waves at the UPS driver,”bye. Wish you well,” he calls out. 

My heart smiles. I try to tape as many moments on my camera,but I can’t always catch life on film. 

My heart saddens to think, there will come a time,

When I don’t matter,

When friends come first and I disappear as their mother.

When papa and mama become the enemy, I hope will never be. 

For now,they are just my little ones who play,sing, and talk to me.