Where the hell is she, the woman of my dreams.
I’ve looked for her for many years, about 99 it seems.
I know it hasn’t been that long, come on, I’m making a joke.
Sit down, relax, read the rest of this, sit back and have a Coke.
I know she’s gotta be out there, maybe Florida or Alabama,
Or maybe even where YOU are, you haven’t seen her, have ya?
Maybe Oregon or Virginia, or maybe in Missouri.
I hope she isn’t in New York, those women are always in a hurry.
Maybe she’s in Kentucky, Tennessee or down in Texas.
Maybe she’ll drive a pick-up truck, or maybe drive a Lexus.
I don’t really care how she gets around, she can even take a bus.
I just wish we’d find each other, so there could be an us.
But here I am in Kansas, and I’m still gonna look.
It’s not really a requirement, but I hope that she can cook.
I don’t care what color hair she has, or what size of clothes she wears,
It doesn’t matter to me at all, if she spits and swears.
I just want her to love me, just me, as I look and am,
If you know where I can find her, send me a telegram.