Cheating, you can ask your friends or family. And I will guarantee you that the majority of them will tell you the same thing. Either the man could not keep it in his pants and he is such a bastard or that the woman is a slut and just a whore.

Or perhaps the person that they cheated with,  is a slut or a whore, or just an asshole trying to get laid.  You hear this all the time, and the funny thing is that this is the first thing that friends and family will tell you.  You don’t hear them tell you that it was your own fault. It is always easier to blame someone else rather than take the blame yourself.   People always think to themselves why did he/she do this to me. What have I done to deserve such a betrayal from this person.  And the question that everybody should be asking is what have I or could have done to prevent this from happening.  The truth is that people cheat for two reasons. The first is lack of team work that is there in the relationship. Which I will discuss in part 2 of this blog series.   The reason I would like to focus on in the first part,  is about SEX. The sexual act has nothing to do with love other than the closeness that touch brings to the people involved. Sex is not only natural but it is a human need and desire. It is a part of a relationship that promotes closeness between people in an intimate fashion. Although sex is not the only thing that matters, it is a part of a relationship that is necessary in order for it to succeed and grow.  People don’t cheat because they don’t love you, they don’t cheat because they need that physical touch, or they need the release they get after the sexual act.  I believe a majority of the reasons why people cheat is because they feel neglected or feel like they are unimportant or insignificant in the relationship. Usually because the relationship just plainly feels to be one sided. This most likely is the main reason why people cheat. You have to understand that people who cheat are cowards and have no sense of integrity or honor. Because if this person has to cheat to prove a point because they are being neglected or aren’t being heard they should either speak up or hit the road and let you know what the problem is this is where that communication thing plays in. Back to the subject at hand though which is sex. If you are in a relationship with someone, sex is not something that should be looked at as a chore. Sex is something that has to become an integral part of the relationship on a normal basis either daily or weekly.  If you are truly a person that is genuinely tired all the time and you don’t have the energy for this. You basically have two choices. Either start going to the gym or do some exercises to get in shape and build some stamina.  Or just come to the realization that eventually even the most loyal, loving and honest person given the right circumstances will get there needs fulfilled from somewhere else not necessarily with someone else but in some other form and the need from the other person will simply vanish people are only human. And that you allowed this to happen because you don’t care enough to service your woman or your man. Now I am not saying that there isn’t a time where people are legitimately tired and just want to relax sometimes or perhaps it is medically related.  But there are certain things that can be done without having to go through the whole sexual act.  Sometimes just showing affection whether it be kissing, hugging, or perhaps a certain oral activity will fulfill and satisfy a need or desire that is there. This usually is enough.  This all depends on how much of a need or desire this person has or requires. One important thing to remember guys and girls is that these things should be mutual not one-sided. Though some people might think that having your own personal sex slave is a good thing it is not. For any relationship to truly stand the test of time and one that will become everything you wish it to be You have to understand that in a relationship with someone there has to be a sharing of both of your needs and desires. And that nobody in a relationship speaks for themselves alone.  Whatever you do in the relationship it is for the good of you both and not just yourself. So when you are with someone you care about for whatever reason . Do whatever you can to make them happy and fulfill all there sexual needs, desires, and fantasies. This I stress is only as long as their needs, desires, and fantasies are not degrading or disrespectful towards you or your feelings, if it is OK with both of you then you should just do what needs to be done or whatever feels good.  I would like to make a suggestion here though, and that is that sometimes when it come to sex some people wish to do certain things and the other person does not. I would suggest that no matter what it is please take some time and really do some research on whatever it is the other person wants you to do. To me as a general rule I have always believed that unless it is something that is physically or emotionally harmful which would ultimately jeopardize the longevity of the relationship then I don’t see any reason why it should not be explored.  One other thing sex is something that is between you and your partner, not your friends and not your family.  It is something private and personal and what happens in the bedroom between you and your significant other should always remain in the bedroom. Kind of like what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. There is no need to consult with people on how, what, when or why certain things should or how they should be done. Especially when it comes to bragging or talking bad about the other person with your friends. Talk to professionals, or seek out legitimate resources online and get the real facts on the issues in question. The internet can be a wonderful thing. Now one thing that should be kept in mind is that if your significant other does not reciprocate and fullfill all your needs, desires and fantasies within reason of course. Then they are selfish and don’t care about anybody other than themselves and their fullfiment and basically don’t care about you.  I don’t see any reason to put effort in to someone as well as the relationship if the other person does not do the same.  In this situation I would seriously start thinking about getting out of this relationship, because being with someone who is selfish, is a dead end to to a life of misery and unhappiness. Now one thing that is common in woman and men but especially in woman is that sometimes some people use sex as a tool in the quest for ultimate power and control and world domination in the relationship . To these people all I can say is one thing. That you are digging your own hole and eventually you will lay in it.  People do not like to be used or controlled for any reason regardless whether it is a fetish or not. No matter what you say or do to them, eventually they will come to realize and recognize the game you are playing with them.  So when you sit down and question why this person cheated on you. First think, did you do anything to prevent this from happening.  And if you truly believe that you did everything you possibly could do, then perhaps you should thank god that you are no longer with this slut or bastard anymore because the truth is that they did you a favor, because now they are gone.  One last note, to anybody that is currently with someone who cheated on them recently or in the past.  You should just pack up your stuff right now and leave and don’t look back.  If you choose to stay with them, then the only person to blame for a meaningless long term relationship is yourself and know one else. I have always been a firm believer if you are dishonest once you will be dishonest again. Basically if you cheat once you will cheat again but perhaps next time you won’t find out about it. Hope this brings some insight or why people cheat and please feel free to comment.