Writer’s Challenge #10- Forbidden Love/family

David Crerand on Sep 7, 2009

Tags: challenge, Dave Crerand, dieting, family, forbidden love, health, Poetry

For Duff’s challenge. A poem of love, that must go unfulfilled.

Writer’s Challenge #10- Forbidden Love/Family

By David Crerand

Mine has become

a world of furtive glances,

Stolen visions

of what I shall not have,

Past remembrances

of a now forbidden love,

And the yearning

comes with aches,

That shall not

be relieved.

Memories

refuse to fade,

Of the sweetness

I will forever crave,

I have sworn

to family and physician,

Thirty pounds

must from this frame

be cast off,

Before the New Year’s chime.

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Comments (27)

Darla Cooke on Sep 7, 2009
Great poem for the challenge!
I Have Had Enough on Sep 7, 2009
Poetry David? When you shed those pounds, could you pass them onto me? I could do with putting on a few.
Tlchimes on Sep 7, 2009
I love the way you drew us in and sent us in a different direction.
Tanya Wallace on Sep 7, 2009
A very creative and original poem! I was pleasantly surprised by the ending lines and truly admire your writing ability! Excellent work!
Faith Hodge on Sep 7, 2009
Poignant? You had me going there! Like it!!
Ruby Hawk on Sep 7, 2009
That’s veriy good.
Lily River on Sep 7, 2009
Great piece!
BullwinkleMuse on Sep 8, 2009
Ha! The unrequited love of a man and his sweet tooth. Best of luck in your quest to quench this romance. ;^D
Ronne on Sep 8, 2009
nice work david
DulceCorazon on Sep 8, 2009
likeit. was very touching at the beginning, but left me smiling towards the end.
Rick Summers on Sep 8, 2009
Nice work
Lauren Axelrod on Sep 8, 2009
I always wonder everyday about that that first true love. Mine was at 16, and I have always thought about him.
Sourav on Sep 9, 2009
A good poetry for the challenge. I liked the structure of this poem. Nicely done!
Zunairah on Sep 9, 2009
Beautiful and interesting!!
Brenda Nelson on Sep 13, 2009
You can do it!
eat less chicken – its loaded with growth hormones unless you get organic.
B.S. Kitty on Sep 13, 2009
Love is hard to shake off, huh? I’ll bet those pounds will be long gone before you forget.
oldster on Sep 14, 2009
Well done David–keep going it’ll soon fall off.
Nice poem.
Rod Ferrandino on Sep 14, 2009
A waist is a terrible thing to mind. So, go easy on the cheese when you follow my chili recipe, and follow the organic directions of B. Nelson; I will not try to tempt you with moose-track ice cream over hot apple pie, but that is what’s staring at me from the freezer right now, and, I too must pass.
hfj on Sep 14, 2009
When a man reaches a certain age in life, he must ask himself this question. Which is more important to me, sex, or my favorite food. Our choices in life certainly don’t get any easier as we get older, do they David? haha. Nice entry for the Duff challenge. Well done friend.
Theresa Johnson on Sep 15, 2009
very interesting piece….
Duff D Moss on Sep 15, 2009
LoL – I know this tune! That forbidden love is a strong force dude. May your prevail.
BradONeill on Sep 15, 2009
LOL Nice chocolate vanilla twist at the end with a cherry on top. Great entry. As a fat man I must say old love dies hard!
J.L. Eck on Sep 15, 2009
Good one!
XXElleXX on Sep 17, 2009
Hehehehahaha..David, loved ya poem and a good creative piece for Duff’s challenge ..’Mine has become
a world of furtive glances, Stolen visions
of what I shall not have..’ – I laughed bud when I read that .
lillyrose on Sep 18, 2009
lovely piece!
spiritwalker on Sep 22, 2009
Nice twist on the forbidden love in family
RS Wing on Oct 1, 2009
Quite different from your short stories. Cool poem David. Yearning, love lost, memories of young adults are sometimes the hope that keeps us all afloat. I don\\\’t feel it is forbidden to have these memories. Those memories ignite other beautiful days from the past to turn them into future stories for all of us to enjoy. Revealing and great prose David!

Writer’s Challenge #10- Forbidden Love/family

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