Confused.
Am i REALLY going the right way?
I have a great life now, but would it have changed? 
If i stayed with you for just a little bit longer.

I know this was a way out of the hell home.
but i regret it sometimes.
Like feeling the pain of hatred, which feels good i guess.
I want someone to try to hate me, and ill see it go in me like a knife and butter.

But i know this life here is better.
If i could only release the pain for once.
but i seem to grab a hold onto it more and more.
just like an accident i know will happen but wont care.

Its like a razor blade,
u know it will go that way, which is a wrong way. 
but u feel like its the right way.
is what u feel and know two different things?

Yes, it is.
but u cant feel the differences when ur doing it.
You cant determine which one is right until later.
when u look back and regret it.

Seem to never realize that its bad until ur told so.
seem to never understand the pain unless it hurts someone else.
Just one more time wont hurt anyone.
but it seems to hurt urself more, but u cant tell.

i feel like i just cant let go.
i know i have to.
but i cant do it now.
i need to make them happy.

you may think who is ‘them’.
which is everyone i encounter everyday.
but i just do everything for them.
not myself.

i always put that smile on my face, to hide what i really feel.
its like no one can see the real me.
cuz i cant let anyone in, or else they’ll feel bad.
but i dont want them too.

I want happiness in the world, but it happens with one person at a time.
and if it takes me to go down, to get everyone else up.
I’m in it. cuz i dont think i matter.
even tho im told i am everyday.

But its just like hearing words in another language. 
in which i cant follow.
but im better here, i really am.
but i cant really tell myself that.

I cant seem to make myself really know i AM happy. 
It seems like i really have two faces. the first one believes everything.
the second one needs proof, and need time to realize its real.
I didnt do this to myself, it was how i was pretty much made.

Made to not believe everything i hear, cuz one day it’ll go away.
But im happier here.! i really am.
but i feel like im going a different way.
a way i have never gone before. and im too confused to care about where im going.

even tho it seems like everyone is telling me its a good way.
but i cant tell if it is.
I guess ill have to wait and see if i get hurt at the end.
than ill know…