I dream of a better tomorrow, where chickens can cross the road and not be questioned about their motives.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

I got cold hard cash for Christmas. Five bucks frozen in a block of ice.

Without me, it’s just aweso.

Don’t steal. The government hates competition.

Why is the place you drive on is a parkway, and the place you park on is the driveway?

I went to a restaurant that served breakfast at anytime, so i ordered french toast during the renaissance.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

Just remember, if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you’ll be a mile away, and have his shoes.

When life gives you lemons, cut them in half and squirt life in the eye!

The most effective copyright protection known to man : a scratched CD.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

i hope y’all enjoyed these quotes because i sure did!!!