These quotes and sayings are sure to make you laugh until your tummy hurts!

¨     Those of you who think you know everything are annoying those of us who do.

¨     Stop being so stupid… it’s my turn.

¨     It is as bad as you think and they ARE out to get you.

¨     We’re all given some sort of skill in life. Mine just happens to be beating up on people

¨     All people have the right to stupidity but some abuse the privilege.

¨     Bullshit: the art of making the idiotic sound sensible.

¨     Don’t hate me cause I’m beautiful!! Hate me cause your man thinks so!!

¨     Hating me won’t make you pretty!

¨     People want what they can’t have and when they get it they don’t want it anymore.

¨     Practice makes perfect, but if no one is perfect, why practice?

¨     Rule #1 I’m always right

¨     Rule #2 If I’m wrong please look at rule #1

¨     Everyone has a photographic memory… some just don’t have film.

¨     If you talk behind my back, you’re in a perfect position to kiss my ass.  

¨     Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.

¨     Boyfriends are like fires, they go out when left unattended!

¨     Love is the only kind of fire which is never covered by insurance.

¨     Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

¨     I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

¨     If I hurt your feelings in any way I just want to know from the bottom of my heart that I don’t care.

¨     I’m not shy. I just don’t like you.

¨     It’s not my fault that I fell for you, you tripped me!

¨     Today’s Relationships: You can touch each other, but not each other’s phone.

¨     Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like its funny.

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