Welcome to Michael Quotes.  My friend Michael says some pretty funny stuff, and I hope you agree with me.  I find his humor dry, sarcastic, and absolutely hilarious.  What follows are a select few of the many random things Michael spouts off daily. 

Michael said this one during band class.  A lot of his weird philosophical quotes happen during band.

“Life is like Kool-Aid made with pickle juice, because usually it sucks but sometimes it tastes good.” – Michael Graham

For this quote, I need to inform you a little about the situation.  We were in math class, and I sit in front of a Super Senior.  Let’s call him Joe.  Joe is a little overweight.  Apparently someone had written “I love cake” on his arm the previous period, and he was now showing it to everyone.  Michael took one look at it, and said:

“Well you didn’t need to write that on your arm for me to see that.” – Michael Graham

A kid named Phil was trying to convince Michael to start his own YouTube channel, because he thought he was funny.  Phil said that he could have weekly poles, and other things that had his fans respond to him.  Michael then said that he could have a “What’s your favorite letter pole” where he would say this:

“What’s your favorite letter?  Mine’s the squiggly.  Of course, if you don’t want to decide, you could pound your head on the keyboard, because I don’t like decisions either.” – Michael Graham

I am recording this quote for the sake that it will probably be contained in future quotes.  Just know that whenever this word is said, it generally means anything good, happy, or lovely.

“Kitties.” – Michael Graham

Michael has a friend who used to live in Canada.  We’ll call him Tom.  Although he wasn’t born there, he has been labeled as a Canadian by Michael, and he is always poking fun at Tom for it. 

“You’re a Canadian, you can’t get frostbite.” – Michael Graham

I hope you had a good laugh.  I know I did while I was writing them.  If you can write responses, please do so.  I would like to have some feedback, good or bad.  I will add quotes as they come.  You can’t rush a genius.