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Gary : “I don’t feel at all well today. So if I still feel ill when I get back to work from lunch,
I will stay at home”.
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Taffy( old foreman to Labourer Ernie);
” what are you cutting on the hand guillotine Ernie?”
Ernie; “Just some 2 inch packing from this strip of metal”.
A few minutes pass, then Taffy asks;
“Ernie; have you seen my 6 inch rule anywhere?”
Ernie;” OOPS! you mean 3- 2 inch rules don’t you? Sorry”.

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Roy, who was one of the maintenance men went to have a look at a faulty milling Machine. “what’s the matter with it Terry?” asked Roy.
“It keeps on leaking oil”. Replied Terry
“I think the seals must be worn, better see if the is some oil that doesn’t leek”. replied Roy.
N.B. Have they tried Super glue? ( only a joke).