The Patrick Show

Patrick: Hi, and welcome to the Patrick show! Today we have some guests that are suicidal and crazy. They are all from the story Antigone. Ok! Let’s call the first guests: Antigone and Ismene! (Antigone and Ismene comes in) Welcome to the Patrick Show!

Antigone: Hello, nice to meet you.

Patrick: Please have a seat. (Everyone sits down) Today I will ask you girls, umm, well guys a few questions and quickly make you leave.

Ismene: Just a few questions?

Patrick: Ismene, what did I just say?

Antigone: Why? What’s the point in coming here in the first place?

Patrick: Because, I don’t want you girls, I mean guys here in the first place.

Antigone: Whatever.

Patrick: Ok, let’s start. The first question is: Why did you bury that dude, Antigone?

Antigone: Which dude?

Patrick: The only dude you buried!

Antigone: Oh, you mean Polyneices.

Patrick: Naw, so why?

Antigone: Because it was the God’s law and those are the only laws I follow. I had the courage and the right to bury the dead and to get him to rest in peace. If I didn’t, I’d be stuck like Ismene here, and the gods’ would be happy that I did the right thing.

Patrick: (Patrick stands up and reaches behind the podium and gets his hammer and hits Antigone) what?! That doesn’t make any sense.

Antigone: Why did you hit me?

Patrick: (Hits her again with the hammer) Antigone, what did I just say?

Antigone: Hey!! Stop that!

Patrick: (Chuckles) Ismene, why didn’t you help your sister bury Polydude?

Ismene: Because I was scared to break the Man’s law and get frozen into stone forever.

Patrick: (Hits Ismene with the hammer) you punk.

Ismene: Quit hitting people with the hammer that hurts!

Patrick: It’s made of plastic, wow you’re a real punk. Now why did you kill yourself, Antigone?

Antigone: I killed myself, so I can be free in Heaven and so Haemon can find himself a new lady to marry.

Patrick: Whatever. Ok, you guys’ time is up. Now leave!

Antigone: Fine, come on Ismene. Lets’ go. (Antigone and Ismene walk away) (Patrick hits her again when she turns her back)

Patrick: Wooh! That’s funny. Please, don’t come back.

Antigone: I will never come to this show ever again, you disrespectful person!

Patrick: Ok, our next guest is the selfish guy, Creon, please come in! (Stands by where the guest comes out and his hammer, Creon comes in and smacks his face with the hammer)

Creon: What was that for?!

Patrick:  Because you were selfish.

Creon: That doesn’t give you the right to hit me in the face.

Patrick: Sure it does, this is my show isn’t it?

Creon: Yea, whatever.

Patrick: Ok, why didn’t you let anyone touch the body of Polyneices?

Creon: It was because Polyneices was a traitor of Thebes, and he does not deserve a burial. He was supposed to be excommunicated but somebody broke my law, and she paid for what she has done.

Patrick: (Hits Creon with the fan) who cares?

Creon: You’re the one who asked!

Patrick: Tell me something I don’t know. Now, how did you finally understand about setting Antigone free from that tomb?

Creon: At first, Teriesias gave me some advice about something bad was going to happen If I don’t release Antigone and I didn’t believe him, but Antigone killed herself and something bad did happen to me.  

Patrick: (Hits Creon with the fan) Idiot! Why didn’t you release Antigone before she killed herself?

Creon: Quit hitting me with that fan! I didn’t know what was going to happen to me if I do release Antigone; I might’ve been banned from being King.

Patrick: Quit whining, you selfish drama queen. Alright you can go now.

Creon: Ok, bye.

Patrick: (Hits Creon on the back of his head and chuckles)

Creon: Stop it! I hate this show!

Patrick: Now for our next guest, he is the blind, but spiritually sighted Teriesias! Welcome!

Teriesias: Thank You.

Patrick: Oh, please sit down.

Teriesias: (Sits down)

Patrick: (Right when Teriesias is about to sit down, Patrick pulls the chair back so he falls and chuckles) Oh, are you ok? That wasn’t the chair.

Teriesias: Oh, yes I’m alright I do that all the time. (Does a fake sit)

Patrick: (Right when Teriesias is about to sit down, Patrick pulls the chair back, but Teriesias notices that Patrick is messing with his eyes and gets confused) Oh, you did it again.

Teriesias: Haha! I knew you were going to pull my chair back, so I could fall back and get embarrassed again. (Sits down)

Patrick: (Says “How in the world?” In a whisper) Umm, I was just kidding with you. So, tell me about yourself.

Teriesias: I was born a blind child and discovered that I had been spiritually sighted. I could tell if you’re going somewhere, doing something, or who did what.

Patrick: Oh, interesting.

Teriesias: Well, most people don’t believe me the first time I predict their future, but when it happens, they realize I do tell the truth.

Patrick: So is that why Creon didn’t believe you?

Teriesias: Yes, because I’m obviously blind, and have never seen anything but flashes of the future. But I am very happy with my live and…

Patrick: (yawning and sighing)

Teriesias: Hey! Wake up!

Patrick: Huh? Oh. No one really cares about you. You’re making our show boring (bonks his head with the hammer)

Teriesias: Ow! You know what; I predict you’re going to hell!

Patrick: Blah, blah, I predict you’re going to get beat up with this hammer. (Bonks him with the hammer again) Well, what did you say to Creon’s overpowering?

Teriesias: I gave advice to Creon about what was going to happen in the future, if he doesn’t free Antigone, but he didn’t seem to care a bit so I gave up.

Patrick: (Hits Teriesias with the hammer) what?! Whatever. That’s the end of the show! Now leave!

Teriesias: (Gets up without a word)

Patrick: (Tries to hit Teriesias in the face)

Patrick: Now, let’s wrap up what we covered tonight. Creon was wrong about not burying Polyneices and I hope he figured out that replacing the God’s law with his own was a bad thing. Well that was the end of The Patrick Show! Hope you enjoyed it. Next week’s show will have guests from the Interlopers! Good night!