The Patrick Show

Patrick: Hi, and welcome to the Patrick show! Today we have some guests that are suicidal and crazy. They are all from the story Antigone. Ok! Let’s call the first guests: Antigone and Ismene! (Antigone and Ismene comes in) Welcome to the Patrick Show!

Antigone: Hello, nice to meet you.

Patrick: Please have a seat. (Everyone sits down) Today I will ask you girls, umm, well guys a few questions and quickly make you leave.

Ismene: Just a few questions?

Patrick: Ismene, what did I just say?

Antigone: Why? What’s the point in coming here in the first place?

Patrick: Because, I don’t want you girls, I mean guys here in the first place.

Antigone: Whatever.

Patrick: Ok, let’s start. The first question is: Why did you bury that dude, Antigone?

Antigone: Which dude?

Patrick: The only dude you buried!

Antigone: Oh, you mean Polyneices.

Patrick: Naw, so why?

Antigone: Because it was the God’s law and those are the only laws I follow. I had the courage and the right to bury the dead and to get him to rest in peace. If I didn’t, I’d be stuck like Ismene here, and the gods’ would be happy that I did the right thing.

Patrick: (Patrick stands up and reaches behind the podium and gets his hammer and hits Antigone) what?! That doesn’t make any sense.

Antigone: Why did you hit me?

Patrick: (Hits her again with the hammer) Antigone, what did I just say?

Antigone: Hey!! Stop that!

Patrick: (Chuckles) Ismene, why didn’t you help your sister bury Polydude?

Ismene: Because I was scared to break the Man’s law and get frozen into stone forever.

Patrick: (Hits Ismene with the hammer) you punk.

Ismene: Quit hitting people with the hammer that hurts!

Patrick: It’s made of plastic, wow you’re a real punk. Now why did you kill yourself, Antigone?

Antigone: I killed myself, so I can be free in Heaven and so Haemon can find himself a new lady to marry.

Patrick: Whatever. Ok, you guys’ time is up. Now leave!

Antigone: Fine, come on Ismene. Lets’ go. (Antigone and Ismene walk away) (Patrick hits her again when she turns her back)

Patrick: Wooh! That’s funny. Please, don’t come back.