Moriarty: “Hello, Moriarty here. I’m sitting with the leading man of the last action movie of the summer, Gerard Butler of Gamer.”

Gerard Butler: “W-where am I? What is that on your eye?”

Moriarty: “Oh, this? This is a monocle, it’s meant to go with my top hat, to show my form of class.”

Gerard Butler: “You still didn’t an-”

Moriarty: “Oh I almost forgot, hold out your right hand.”

Gerard Butler: “What? No”

Moriarty: “Dear Hippocrates! Is that a Green Screen?”

Gerard Butler: “Where!? Don’t step in it I saw it first!”

Moriarty: “This might sting”

Gerard Butler: “W- Did you just inject something into m-”

Moriarty: “Ah, no. You’re probably just having flashbacks from that battle at the Hot Gates.”

Moriarty: “Now this drug -”

Gerard Butler: “You just said you didn’t do anything”

Moriarty: “No, I said … well it doesn’t matter anyway. Now this drug has a few side effects, but mostly it will encourage you to comply with me. Would you like to start the interview, King Leonidas?”

Gerard Butler: “This is madness!”

Moriarty: “Well, actually, this is Monocles and Madness. But you’ve gotten the gist of it, now, what do you say?”

Gerard Butler: “Everyone will know, that I will give my last breath for this interview!”

Moriarty: “Good. First question, why did you choose to take part in the movie Gamer?”

Gerard Butler: “Well, when I was first approached. By the Persian Army! I really enjoyed the look and feel of the script, it looked like a telling of The Running Man with its own touch.”

Moriarty: “And what are your thoughts on co-star Michael C. Hall?”

Gerard Butler: “When you have a great actor on set, you instantly know it. The man radiates charisma and brings everyone onto a new level. The best part about working with Michael C. Hall, is that he really turns me loose!”

Moriarty: “The special effects in this movie are supposed to be top notch, would you agree?”

Gerard Butler: “Absolutely. This film was shot almost entirely on green screen.”

Moriarty: “Are you sure? Maybe you’re thinking of 300?”

Gerard Butler: “Are you calling me a lier?”

Moriarty: “No. I just think you’re confused. Like I mentioned earlier there are side effe-”

Gerard Butler: “I portrayed Abe Lincoln in a high school play.”

Moriarty: “I don’t see what that has to do with – …”

Gerard Butler: “That means, as a Spartan! I cannot tell a lie!”

Gerard Butler: “Because SPARTANS! Do not need to lie.”

Moriarty: “Are you suggesting, because you once portrayed Lincoln, you assume his attributes?”

Gerard Butler: “I assume nothing. I WAS Lincoln.”

Moriarty: “Yes. Well … onto the next question.”

Moriarty: “Could you tell us what the Opening Scene will be like?”

Moriarty: “Wait, where did you get that shield?”

Gerard Butler: “I always carry this with me.”

Moriarty: “You don’t carry the other half … do you?”

Gerard Butler: “The Opening Scene is a shot, looking at a steep rock where and old man inspects a newborn Spartan!“

Moriarty: “Ah- you’re getting things mixed up again. What is the Opening Scene to the movie Gamer?”

Gerard Butler: “Well! Wouldn’t you like to know? There’s no reason we cant be civil.”

Moriarty: “Yes, yes I would.”

Gerard Butler: “It involves a la- … well … then th- … we will FIGHT in the shade!”

Moriarty: “Your character doesn’t even say that line!”

Gerard Butler: “Well Mr. Historian. Where you there when I was fighting off the Persians at Thermopylae?”

Moriarty: “If you where at the battle of Thermopylae, you wouldn’t be alive! Even if you lived you would have still died fro-”

Gerard Butler: “HA-OOH!”

Moriarty: “Ignoring your cinematic nonsense. Will there be a Sequel to the movie Gamer?”

Gerard Butler: “Most definitely.”

Moriarty: “Oh, really? And what might the name of this movie be?”

Gerard Butler: “300 2.”

Moriarty: “Well, I’ve had enough. Gamer will be released everywhere, 9/4/09. Starring Michael C. Hall, Gerald But-”

King Leonidas: “Leonidas!”

Moriarty: “Gerard Butler, Logan Lerman and Ludacris. Good night, and good luck.”