If you thought "The Life of Brian" was blasphemous, don’t read this! Actually it’s just meant to be good clean, black comedy set partly in the waiting room of Heaven.
CHARACTERS
St. PETER: About 28 years old. With long shoulder length hair. Dressed in new blue jeans and an old T-shirt.
JESUS CHRIST: About 30 years old. With hair half way down his back, a long beard and bushy moustache. Dressed in faded jeans, T-shirt and thongs.
APOSTLE PETER
APOSTLE PAUL
APOSTLE JOSEPH
MARY: About 45 years old. Tall, dark-blonde. Dressed in jeans and T-shirt.
ALLAH: About 30 years old. Negro; dressed in bright silk caftan.
JEHOVAH: About 55 years old. Dressed as a typical Jewish holy man.
FACE OF GOD
NOAH
NOAH’S WIFE
NOAH’S ADULT SON
MOSES
1ST HECKLER: Heckles Moses
2ND HECKLER: Heckles Moses
HINDU MAN: Sent to Nirvana
ARMARTI: Hindu Man’s personal sex goddess
LEN OVEUR: Catholic Man
DEBBIE MARKHAM: Black Moslem Woman. Tall Negress. Wearing see-through blouse and blue jeans.
ELIZABETH LANGTREE: English Woman. Aged about 42. Tall, blonde.
BOB SMITH: Methodist Man. Aged about 65. Thickset with very short, grey hair. Dressed in a long sleeve shirt and a cheap business suit.
MAN: Talking about Leprechauns
TEENAGE GIRL: Who drags Jesus back through his doorway
MANNIE STEIN: Jewish Man
ANNA BAPTIST: Nuclear Disarmament Religion
LOTUS WATER: Bald Hare Krishna girl, dressed in white robes
WOMAN SENT TO HELL
FEMALE DEVIL: Receptionist in Hell
GLADIATOR IN HELL
DAPHNE WILLIAMS: Drag queen, Gay-Liberation Religion
TAFFY McDONALD: Catholic and gay-basher
GEORGE THOMAS: Atheist, Aged about 38.
MAN WHO WANTS MECCA
GENE PITNEY
REDHEADED WOMAN: To see gynaecologist
MAN ON NEXT CROSS TO Jesus at Golgotha
CHIEF ROMAN GUARD
HIGH PRIEST
1ST MALE DRUID
2ND MALE DRUID
3RD MALE DRUID
1ST FEMALE DRUID
2ND FEMALE DRUID
EXTRAS
Other Apostles with Jesus at pool helping old man. Man and Woman through doorway of first Pommy Heaven, knight in armour, caveman, Frankenstein monster, Norman Bates and victim, axe murderer, woman who rings cane toad. Roman guards on road to Golgotha and at Golgotha. Six or seven extra druids
CROWDS
Crowd in line in hell: This can be animated;
Crowd waiting to hear ten commandments;
Crowd of disabled people (blind, lame, lepers, the paralysed) are lying or standing around the pool;
Crowd watching Jesus carry cross on road to Golgotha;
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