The meeting convened at its regular time and place on Monday morning. One hundred percent attendance was duly noted and recorded. Presiding over the meeting was GOD, variously referred to among subordinates as: “The Big G,” “Numero Uno,” “The Almighty,” “El Jefe,” and “Frank (Sinatra).”

Departments reporting:

• Reproductive Systems: male/ female
• Digestive System
• Brain & Nervous System (Neuro.).
• Skeletal Systems/ Tissue Development
• Sensory Input Systems: hearing, sight, smell, taste, feel, sixth??
• Waste Elimination

Reproductive was the first to present. Project status was delivered by the Team Chief and Lead Engineer.

Team Chief: Progress to date concerning the male – all systems are looking very good. Everybody did a bang-up job. Erectile function turned out particularly well. Just about every programmed form of external stimulation proved quite effective. Sperm cell delivery field-tested liked a champ. If anything, it worked a little too well. But what the hell – better too much than too little, right?

GOD (without expression): Mmm. You’re sure this male unit will have sufficient, uh . . . incentive?

Team Chief: Oh, baby. The Neuro guys did a little last-minute tweaking. Let’s just say the male’s gonna be pretty much rarin’ to go twenty-four-seven.

GOD: Oh?

Team Chief: Yeah, there was really only the one sticky spot.

GOD: Let’s have it.

Team Chief: We had a little problem with the testicle unit. Normal body temperature, it turns out, puts the “kibosh” on sperm cell production due to some unforeseen factors. Team Leads proposed two solutions:

1. Reduce body temperature
2. Relocate testicle pair to a position outside the body

Considering the feasibility and costs of each solution, the consensus was to reposition outside the body.

GOD: And . . . ?

Team Chief: We’ve developed a kind of skin sack that will hold the testicle pair at a position directly beneath the penis, just outside the pubic bone.

GOD: What about protection? Aren’t these are rather delicate organs?

Team Chief (averting gaze): Well, yes, Sir. But, none of the hard materials options have fallen within budget – since Waste Elimination stole partial penile function, things have been pretty tight.

Team Chief (Waste Elimination): Hey, we’ve been getting reamed on our budget from day one, so don’t give me any of that BS.

GOD: Quiet! We’ll all get our turn. Please continue.

Team Chief (Reproductive Systems): Thank you , Sir. As I was saying, things have been pretty tight – for everybody. So, we settled on the pliable skin sack.