As time goes on, I continually find these things that seem like they are just too easy to take the wrong way if you have a perverted mind.

10. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. (It really sounds wrong if you are dyslexic.)

9. I like my toast buttered, not stirred. (This was a drunken James Bond.)

8. Is someone who fluffs pillows called a professional fluff-er?

7. Do assholes have pie holes?

6. Does Carmen San Diego wear pants? It never shows her from the waist down. I guess she wouldn’t have to.

5. Why do women compare anal sex to drinking a milk shake in a snow storm?

4. If a girl holds a penny between her knees, will this count as birth control?

3. Women say men don’t understand the female body. Where can I find a detailed road map cause no one wants to stop and ask directions?

2. Protein makes you strong. (An advertisement in a gynecology office.)

1. “I will take a look at your hood too, ma’am.” (A gynecologist that moonlighted as a mechanic)

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Comments (9)
  • bigpapadan on Dec 15, 2010

    Okay, Thomas, now that was funny. BTW, I have read your most recent previous posts, don’t know whether the durn site is still having problems; but, nice.

  • Emmie on Dec 15, 2010

    These were funny. I have a sick mind- it’s official!! and yeah i do tend to think of things the wrong way, and i had to laugh at the ones in your post.

    Good read, thank you. :)

  • Rick Summers on Dec 15, 2010

    Funny HaHa…..

  • nz2rdfox on Dec 15, 2010

    you got me laughing man…great and entertaining post..enjoyed it very much.,..thank you:)

  • yes me on Dec 15, 2010

    Cheers for these tips ha ha ha

  • Yovita Siswati on Dec 16, 2010

    funny!

  • Davanita on Dec 16, 2010

    Very funny, you almost made beer come out of my nose.

  • albert1jemi on Dec 16, 2010

    gud work

  • runewake2 on Dec 16, 2010

    nice work here.

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