As time goes on, I continually find these things that seem like they are just too easy to take the wrong way if you have a perverted mind.
10. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. (It really sounds wrong if you are dyslexic.)
9. I like my toast buttered, not stirred. (This was a drunken James Bond.)
8. Is someone who fluffs pillows called a professional fluff-er?
7. Do assholes have pie holes?
6. Does Carmen San Diego wear pants? It never shows her from the waist down. I guess she wouldn’t have to.
5. Why do women compare anal sex to drinking a milk shake in a snow storm?
4. If a girl holds a penny between her knees, will this count as birth control?
3. Women say men don’t understand the female body. Where can I find a detailed road map cause no one wants to stop and ask directions?
2. Protein makes you strong. (An advertisement in a gynecology office.)
1. “I will take a look at your hood too, ma’am.” (A gynecologist that moonlighted as a mechanic)
Welcome to Authspot, the spot for creative writing.
Read some stories and poems, and be sure to subscribe to our feed!