It came up with the message “Unable to compile or decompile due to insufficient data” time and time again. This time I decided to try something else.

I keyed a series of commands, which instructed the computer to analyse various sections of the data to try to determine if there was any recognisable encryption within it. The computer, whirred, clicked, blinked and then the screen went blank.

“Encryption Found – series 44356.67” glowed the next message.

My eyes started to hurt I was staring so hard at the screen. I reached behind me for my data pad, this was my own personal computer, which I stored pretty much everything I’d done since I had started in this job. While miniscule by comparison to the Central Research Computer it would still not be full for around another fifty years at my current rate of work. I punched in the Encryption number and waited. I had dealt briefly with various forms of encryption over the years. 21st Century encryption was poor at best and now, coming up to the 23rd Century it was almost archaic. My pad blipped and told me to use a certain algorithm while compiling the data. It was a simple as that.

A seemingly benign pile of paperwork, which had bitten at my curiosity, was about to be revealed to me. I couldn’t believe how excited I was. I took another drink of my scotch.

Chapter 5

A security patrol chose that moment to pass through the records building. I heard the automatic computer voice warning any people left in the building to have their ID cards ready.  I’d left my ID code on the panel so they knew I was here but they might come into the office on their patrols. Sometimes I’d talk to the Security guard; occasionally we’d have a glass of scotch. It could be nice to interact with a person, not a computer.

I would rather that didn’t happen tonight. I walked over to the panel and keyed in the “Do Not Disturb” sign. On the outside of my door a small red light would be on. I would not be disturbed. I sat down. Keyed the appropriate algorithm, and sat back and waited.

It took the computer approximately seventeen seconds to decrypt and compile the Data. The screen went red, then black, then bright blue. It stayed blue.

Then a message appeared.

I couldn’t believe my eyes.

After all this time, all this wondering what this was.

I started to laugh. I couldn’t stop. I laughed so hard I nearly fell off my chair.

The Computer screen glowed with a message.

I just couldn’t stop laughing. It was starting to hurt.

The message read…

“404 Error. Your computer and all computers connected are now being formatted. All data on hard drives will be removed and you will lose everything. Have a nice day”

The reason I laughed?

It was signed, “Bill Gates the third”.

The end.

Author

Andrew Karl Brown