A Doggy Day

Hi! My name is Sam, but you can call me Doggy. Why? Because I’m a dog. A golden retriever, to be specific. Simple. So, for a few personal things. I like to eat. And chew. Bones, especially. I like those nice, juicy steak bones that just release all their juicy flavor into your mouth when you bit into them. I mean, who doesn’t like them? Except for Kim, the cat. AKA Kitty. I don’t see why she doesn’t like those bones. I asked her to try one once, but she just turned her head and looked away. She’s weird. I mean, every day, she goes out of the pet hole in our door to do something that doesn’t involve anyone in the house. Weird, right? And she doesn’t even listen to Jimmy, our owner. Well, she sometimes listens. Not much though. Next topic.

Jimmy is a funny kid. We (Kim and I) call him Jim, since it sounds cooler. He’s nice, cracks jokes a lot, and seems to be the only person that actually knows that I can understand “human speech.” Yes, it’s true. I can understand you talking in normal English. I can even read your thoughts. For instance, right now you are thinking of giving me a bone. A juicy steak one. Mmmmmmm…

More about Jim. He is 12 years old, is of normal height (somewhere in between 20 and 22 paws), and likes music a lot. You can always see him listening to a CD player, or an MP3. That doesn’t make him anti-social, though. He’s pretty much the opposite. I always see him with a friend over at our house. I especially like it when someone else comes over, because I get so much attention. Kim does too, but she doesn’t take it as well. Too bad for her, I guess. Weirdo. Jim likes to crack jokes, like I said before. He makes a joke of anything embarrassing that he did, like if he tripped over his own foot. He is always cool under pressure, but that’s probably because he’s a smart guy. Even though he denies it, I know that he is pretty damn smart. Yes, he gets good grades.

Jim’s parents are also nice. His dad likes to play golf and his mom likes to play chess on the internet. And she owns online, too. I can see her score card right now, and it says she has a streak of +100 wins. Jim also has a younger sister named Jessica, but we (Kim and I again) usually call her Jess. She could also be called annoying. I don’t know how Jim stands being annoyed by her, but I just can’t put up with her. Always ruffling my head, and picking me up and running around with me in her arms. I don’t like that, you know. She isn’t annoying enough that I bite her, though. I won’t do that. Oh, no. I’m not that type of dog.