“Well Sam, I found a guy once…when I was 26. I thought he was the one, but I later found out I was more like I was one out of twenty-one girls he saw. I got myself checked and swore off guys for a while. I let it take a back burner in my life to my work.” I explained, my voice was a bit solemn. I had not realized how long it had been since I had let another man get anywhere near close to me.

“I am sorry to upset you Miss Rita.” Sam said.

            I shook my head and smiled. It had been my choice. Pa rose up and grabbed the flowers he had set on the table behind us. He handed a bouquet of white and red roses to me and the bouquet of assorted colored carnations to Sam. We smelled the flowers and smiled. We both rose and hugged him. My mind began wonder though, why roses for me?

“Thanks Pa.” Sam said excitedly. “I love carnations. They are my favorite flowers.”

“Are they? Well I guess that is one this you and my daughter have in common Sam. My daughter loves pink and blue carnations. I get her one once a month, but I buy her a big one when she does well at her concerts.” Pa said proudly.

“I’d love to meet her.” Sam said.

“I’m sure you will some day. She is a good girl.” Pa said softly and patted her hand.

            The waitress delivered our meals and we continued our random conversations.

Upon giving Pa the bill for the meal the waitress made a comment, “You guys look like such a happy family, especially you and the new girlfriend Pa.” The young blonde waitress said politely.

            We all looked at each other. Pa was the first to respond to the young waitress.

“This Gorgeous woman wouldn’t ever wanna date and ol’ fart like me Carla. This young Las here is simply a girl I know and maybe a play date for my daughter.” Pa said ever so politely.

            We all laughed at Pa’s way of putting thing ever so nonchalantly. In fact, how we met was far more cruel. Once the waitress left, I couldn’t help but think on Pa’s words and how he spoke. I sensed a bit of hope in his comment to the waitress.

“That day, I thought I wasn’t going to make it Rita.” Sam said, claling me back from my thoughts.

“Yeah, I could imagine. If I would have waited half a breath longer to decide, I think I might have lost my humanitarianism.” I responded.

“Why would you say that?” Pa asked before Sam could open her mouth.

“Well, when I ran there and peaked around the corner to see what was going on and then slinked back. Many choices ran through my head. I thought of fleeing and leaving you to fend for yourself for self-preservation. I feel horrible for that thought. I thought I would not have any right to call myself human if I turned my back on you. So I took all my courage and followed my gut blindly in hopes that I could save you without us both ending up badly.” I explained, guilt sticking deeply to my mind as I thought of that split second where I could have betrayed every human part of me and ran like a coward.

            Pa reached across and grabbed my hand. I looked up with such guilt to my honesty to the girl. I looked to her and she seemed to be deep in thought. I was not sure if I would be Saint Rita to her anymore after that comment, but it was the truth. In every event of danger, every man, woman, or child is faced with choices to help or abandon. Pa was old enough to know the guilt, I could see it in his eyes.

2011 Unpublished work. © by Rebbecca Abernathy