Hell found me.  No matter how far I ran or where I tried to hide, Hell found me like a vulture finds a carcass, like flies find manure.  Hell found me and I’ve finally come to realize I must have been born there.

I busted out of jail and killed two men back in Johnson County, Wyoming. The first was unsure of himself –- too slow to the draw. The other was a real gunslinger. I’m pretty sure the landowners paid him fighting wages in the Johnson County Range War. He got too nervous and wild. I shot him five times in the face before he even pointed his gun.  At least he died with a gun in his hand.

Being out there in the Badlands was quite a change of pace from the eight-by-ten jail cell I’d been living in for the past two months. At least prison had food.  Hell, some of the best meals I ever ate were at the Johnson County Jail. I know that ain’t saying much, but they really knew how to cook. The gravy was so damn good I licked the plate clean.

A landowner named Precious Comely placed the bounty on my head. The name suited him like a tailored vest. He offered one thousand acres to any man who delivered me into the custody of the Texas authorities. I’d been in jail twice in the Republic of Texas and I kind of liked it there. The meals were pretty good and the jail cells were as big as a full moon. If I ended up back in jail, I figured good food would be my only luxury.

I met a man in the Johnson County Jail who told me about the rodeos down in Pecos. I always had a way with animals, and he said they had bull riding and steer roping contests. I grew up riding bulls. I could tame a bull just by looking him in the eyes. I figured I might finally get my chance to be famous for something other than killing people.

On the way down to Pecos, I saw a stagecoach in the distance. At first I thought I was seeing things, but then it was right there in front of me like a punch in the gut. I put my hand on my gun as the wooden wheels came to a stop.  Dust and weeds blew beneath the leather straps of the thoroughbraces. I sensed movement inside. With a short twitch, I cocked back the hammer of my gun.

I gave a tight grin and stared the nearest horse in the eyes. She turned away and got so scared she started bucking like a drunk dancing girl. I turned my head back and a man fell out, dropping to the ground as the bucking horses moved the coach forward. His eyes were like thin cracks, and he stared me down as nervous as a whore in church.

I let him take the first shot. His aim was off so I let him fire another round before I shot him twice in the face. When the little devil raised his hand again and aimed in my direction, I cracked his skull with the butt of my pistol and kicked him hard to make sure he was dead.  Next thing I remember was the barrel of a shotgun in my back and the feel of thick rope around my neck.

The woman’s voice shook like a baby rattle. “On your knees.  Give me one good reason I should take you in alive! I still get the thousand acres if you’re dead!”

“Because I ain’t dying today.  You are.”

She tightened the rope. “Not likely, Mister.  Now get on your damn knees!” I felt the barrel of the shotgun slide up to the back of my head.

“Well, you’re just as mean as a cat drowned in dog piss, aren’t you, honey?”

“Make one twitch and you’ll be sleeping in Hell tonight!” 

I didn’t like the way she said that.  I pulled the rope and threw her to the ground, grabbed her shotgun and placed the barrel between her eyes. “We’d best make this quick.”

“Just do it,” she answered, spitting on my boots.

Some time during the ruckus, my tail slipped out of the back of my trousers.  I moved it through the air and placed the pointed tip against her nose.

“No, it can’t be!  You’re-”

“Go on and say it.”

“That tail, those eyes!  Dear Lord, you really are-“

I stared at her down the twenty-inch barrel of the shotgun.  “Say it!  Who am I?”

“No!”

“Say it!”

“The devil!”

I fired the shotgun twice and slid my tail back inside my trousers.