My thoughts about soap in its various guises…

Liquid soap in my opinion is one of the best inventions of the modern age. Liquid hand wash, or whatever you want to call it, comes in a tidy plastic bottle with a pump and is a much better idea than slippery, chunky old cakes of soap. The only thing you need to be aware of is to buy a bottle that will sit properly in the space on your hand basin or sink. A bottle that is too wide to sit between the taps is no good. Likewise, if you have an indentation in the hand basin meant to take a cake of soap, you need to make sure that any bottle you buy will sit properly and not topple over. Once you’ve found a good dispenser stick with it. I must admit I’m a bit of a cheapskate, I buy the cheapest shower gel available and refill my existing dispenser bottles rather than buying new all the time.

I had an elderly friend who was the soul of generosity. The only trouble was, she used to buy me cakes of soap for Christmas and birthdays. I tried hinting that I preferred liquid soap or shower gel, but my hints must have been too subtle, for on each occasion she would present me with up to six cakes of soap, and in horrible colours that didn’t go with my bathroom. Goodness only knows where she bought it, for I never saw the like in any shops I went into. What to do with it? Not the sort of thing you can give to a charity shop. Someone told me that you could grate it into a pan of boiling water and make liquid soap, but my attempts were rather lumpy and unsatisfactory, and still a nasty colour. And anyway who’s got time to stand about grating cakes of soap. I’m sorry to say that when I moved house I threw away rather a lot of soap. When my elderly friend passed away I imagined her sitting up in heaven on her cloud, surrounded by piles and piles of luridly coloured and scented soap.

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