“A Humble Plea”

Hi, my name is Miss Shannon Kenney-Cat and I’m here to lodge a complaint. It’s about my folks…I just don’t know where else to go, I mean, I’ve tried all the usual stuff;…growling, hissing, slapping and the old classic standby “if looks could kill!” … but nothing’s worked and I’m desperate!

You see, my folks, (whom I dearly love…most of the time…) brought home three abandoned bratty fur-balls.

Now, I’m a reasonable cat but for Pete- sake, this is my house and I’m not sharing!

It’s not my fault if they don’t have anywhere else to go! … They need to go somewhere other than here!

It’s a nightmare around here! ….I wake up in the mornings and there they are! …on my dining room table! …Or eating my food! …And then there’s the unthinkable…I’m almost too ashamed to mention it…Using my litter-box! … Oh, I don’t know how much more of this I can take!

Would you believe it? …they actually expect me to play with them! … HA! … I scoff at such nonsense!

My response to that absurdity is “talk to the butt!” as I turn and walk away!

I wish you could see it! … They’ll prance up to me sideways and slap me up side the head and think it’s funny! …It’s so degrading!

And cat manners? …such deplorable behavior! …A proper cat knows not to ever beg for attention from the humans! …It’s just so uncouth! …But I hear them ALL through the house ALL day long! … “Pet me! …pet me!” … I just can’t take it another minute!

Now that you see my predicament…I’m so hoping you can help me! …could you…I don’t know…maybe talk to my folks about all of this? …isn’t that what you humans do, is talk to each other about things?

Just tell them that my patience has vaporized and that I deserve to be the only cat in the house because I am the Queen!

Thank you for taking a few minutes to listen to my most humble plea…this is all I have to say.

You may now go back to your dreary human lives and exist peacefully.