You will never be sure…will you?
The café is always as full as usual. And I am always still looking like I came directly from another world..by the look on the face of some clients staring at me. Although I felt extremely present, I was even more now, feeling like a stranger..I couldn’t feel relate to anything around me.
It is the alien inside of me. In reality the two world I saw inside me were finally defining themselves. Was it that I could only find this as an explanation? No, it was more real then a mere thought. I could see that the world of man was in reality an alien. He was a total stranger to this earth. He was even afraid of nature, a reaction although naturally spontaneous, but sick….
For so many years I watch…those thoughts inside..Now I can see..unrelated, to this world around. Oh yes, related to the madness of man. Also related to nature but in a total fearful way or very imaginative cause really…unrelated to nature as it is really. I even realized that nature for me was just a set of ideas, beliefs about nature…unrelated. I traveled to India and spend years sitting, meditating, learning to learn to be a human…But still I felt, in my mind…unrelated.
Am I alone?..yes… To feel this way?..no.
I knew, without a doubt or becoming crazy, that this part of me wasn’t familiar with this planet I started encountering long ago and was still in the process of really discovering. Meditation which was the natural space of nature in us had kept alive in me to the point of not being able to cope with this alien part of the human being anymore. I knew by experience I could not get rid of it…sitting silently, listening to its constant chat over and over…unrelated. There was no real fight to get into cause it was made of that…it always did win when I got into a fit with it.
So now the solution was clear…education. I will teach that thing..that alien how to discover the world he lives in…instead of constantly having ideas about it. I will teach him how to deal with it imagines to be his fears..and whatever it keeps on imagining…which is all the time..unrelated to the real world around..
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