When we married, my wife was a beautiful woman. We made love often and I couldn’t stand to be away. We couldn’t get enough of each other.

Slowly I started noticing changes in her. She seemed less concerned about my desires and interests. She became less concerned about her appearance. She seemed tired and overworked. We didn’t communicate as well as we did just after the marriage. The honeymoon was certainly over.

Over the years our marriage became drastically worse. I worked late hours a lot, and she was preoccupied with her work. We didn’t see each other much, and when we did, we were both removed emotionally.

Then I woke up one morning next to a pig. That’s right – my wife turned into a pig. Pork, pig, bacon – use whatever term you want, but she looked just like the swine you never want to marry.

I noticed that she started using the expression “oink”.  In fact, she relied on it quite a bit. She became a real “boar”.  I was astonished when I found her in the back yard rolling around in the mud.

She now eats directly from a garbage can. I guess the only good thing is this: She eats most anything I give her.

I asked her is she had recently become a Republican. “Oink Oink” was her only response.

These days, she becomes brokenhearted anytime we drive by a BBQ restaurant, especially the ones with the pig signs. Maybe it’s an empathy thing.