Mom, Shrooms, And Jesus

This is a story told to me by my friend Shane. I have his permission to write this story.

Robert’s (not his real name) mom was a devoted Christian. She always watched Christian television shows or listened to Christian music on the radio. She always took a bible everywhere she went. When she shopped at the supermarket the bible was in the shopping cart. She never missed church, regardless of the weather conditions or how she was feeling.

Robert had a preacher’s son complex about his mom being so devout. He was an innocent angel while around his mom but a little devil when his friends were around him. Robert had somewhat of a rebel streak in him but rarely displayed it around his mom.

In their senior year they were hanging out at Robert’s house pretty bored. Robert’s mom left to go to choir practice and would be gone a few hours. Being bored stiff most of the day they had devised a plan to cook spaghetti with a little surprise.

The had went to the extreme to make the best spaghetti they could think of. The had Italian sausage, onions, a lot of garlic, diced tomatoes, tomato paste, water, basil, dried parsley flakes, brown sugar, salt, crushed hot pepper, black pepper, red wine, parmesan cheese, and mushrooms to round out the ingredients.

Robert’s mom was thrilled when she came home. Robert, satisfied with his effort, told his mom he had cooked her spaghetti. She heaped the praise on him for being so thoughtful, considerate, and kind to think of her when a friend was at their house visiting. Pleased with Robert, she realized she was tired and relished the fact that she would be able to rest without cooking. Robert ever the terrific son, volunteered to wash the dishes after she finished.

His mom sat on the couch with her favorite Christian TV show on and ate the big bowl of spaghetti. It was so yummy that she had a second bowl. Smiling, she thanked her son for the best spagetting she had ever eaten, turned around facing the other side of the couch, began a three hour conversation with a two feet Jesus.

 Photo from Flickr

Robert’s mom to this day really believes she has talked to Jesus. Instead of chilling his mom out like he had hoped for, she became even more religious. Robert, a man now, has never had the gumption to tell his mom that one of the ingredients was magic mushrooms, mushrooms with a powerful hallucinogenic effect similar to LSD.

Writers Note: some mushrooms are poisonous. Never try what Robert did with the spaghetti.

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