For the past five years, my partner, my mother and I had bonded and lived as what could most accurately be referred to as a “family” of three. We were drawn together by the realities of our orientation, commonalities, necessities and an acceptance for and of our diversity. From our respective affections for each other, a special love sprouted, grew and bloomed among the three of us.

The recent death of my mother, whom we both fondly called “Momma,” left
John and I with immense feelings of emptiness, as well as having a vast void in our
lives. Since Momma developed Alzheimer’s disease three years ago, and then she
developed brain cancer during her last few months, our lives and focus was directed
significantly about and for her. As a result, it was now just the two of us, with only our own lives to live.
John is from, as he states, a family of preachers and teachers.

Raised as
a Baptist and, at a very young age, he accepted Jesus Christ as his personal savior. Following his profession of faith, he was baptized. Throughout his childhood and well into his adult years, he was devoted to and active in the church. For the first thirty-some years of his life, whenever the church doors were open, a devout John was there.

Personal circumstances and life changing realizations about who he was, took him away from active participation in church worship. However, John has always continued to maintain his faith, and the belief that Jesus loves and cares for him, and continues to carry him.

My mother and father, respectively, as children, were baptized in Christian
Churches. During my early years, due to work responsibilities, my mother and father
did not actively attend church. Despite the lack of congregational worship, Mother
did all that she could to instill Christian beliefs in me through her own experiences in Christianity, along with the aids of the Bible and other Christian books.

Her personal interpretation to me was that Jesus loved me, I was a child of God, and to always live by the “Golden Rule,” which I understood could to be that we should “do unto others as you would like done unto you.” In my adolescence, I attended a Christian elementary school for a year, and, on my own, became involved in church worship and related activities for a couple of years.

Later, a sports career impeded my attendance of church on a regular basis. That I did not attend church on a regular basis concerned me. However, Mother would always tell me that my talent was a gift from God, and, in addition, she continued to encourage me to pray, as God would understand. My Father was a strong believer in that a person needed to have absolute faith in the Lord, along with maintaining hope, as God does listen and answers prayers. On a consistent basis, he always encouraged me to hold dear to these elements.

As with John, I, eventually was faced with the same aspects of my orientation, which caused me to believe that the attendance of church would be somewhat of a challenge. So, I continued my love of God, and his will – by way of prayer, faith, hope and living by the “Golden Rule.” The one element that always made me feel not quite “whole,” was of never being baptized, or being a part of the church – which I kept within me as a “dark secret.” I knew I believed that Jesus was my Savior, but I found no outlet for that faith.

A few hours after Momma’s passing, John’s eldest brother, an ordained Lutheran pastor, joined us. He had hoped to arrive before she died, in order to have shared in the Lutheran version of last rites (Commendation of the Dying), however she passed on, as Tim was en-route.

Tim, acting as both a brother and pastor, was as true of a messenger of God, as
any two people could have hoped for. As a man of God, in the truest sense, and, as a
loving and caring brother – to John as well as to me – arranged, conducted and
preached Momma’s funeral. While Tim was with us, and throughout the entire
process, feelings of warmth, peace, relief, joy, comfort and brotherhood were consuming me.

I questioned these emotions, believing that I should have been experiencing the feelings of a great loss, sadness and despair. It wasn’t until during the funeral itself, that I began to realize what was happening, and why this host of almost reverse emotions were, literally, overtaking me. Through the conduit of Tim, as a messenger of God, the feelings of hopelessness, loss and despair were being replaced. I began to recognize that I was being relieved by none other than the Holy Spirit.

In my heart and mind, I know that I had no guilt to bear, regarding Momma’s care. John and I had fulfilled her wishes – in that we remained with and cared for her until God chose to bring her to his house, and relieve her of the pains and sufferings, along with the promise of eternal life in Heaven.

On the afternoon of the day before Tim would be returning home, he presented
us with a precious gift – a Bible, personally embossed with our names – John and
Gary – on the burgundy jacket. He, not only as a brother, though as a messenger of God,
accepted our relationship and us. Together, John and I admired the gift, as we
carefully turned the golden-etched pages. It was when I sighted the page upon where
Baptisms are noted, that I, again, experienced the spiritual absence of not having been
Baptized.

I immediately came forth, and expressed my long-time heartache of not having
been Baptized, and, most importantly, of how much I wanted to accept Jesus Christ as my
Lord and Savior. That evening, Tim, John and I sat at the kitchen table as he explained from God’s Word what it meant to be a Christian. We prayed, and I committed my life to Christ. Following my profession of faith, Tim in his capacity as a pastor, baptized me.

Immediately, I felt a wholeness that had never been experienced before in my life. At such a Holy Act of faith, John cried, with tears of joy. Later that night, as we were preparing for bed, John and I realized what had been missing from our lives – communal worship. We discussed the need to seek out a church that would be both welcoming and affirming; that would welcome us, as we are.

The following morning, as Tim prepared to leave, it was as if God, through the Holy Spirit, imparted a message in him. He gave us a message…a mission; to find a church in which we could worship and grow in our faith. Further, he expressed that we, have received and accepted Jesus, brought faith into our lives, and, further, that there is a place for us under God’s expansive “umbrella” of grace. Without pronouncing any judgment upon us, he simply commented that we needed to find a church where sin is recognized, but sinners of all kinds are accepted and encouraged to grow in grace.

Filled with a renewed exuberance, it wasn’t ten minutes later that John sat
down, before our computer, and began a local, Internet search. His intense quest was in
locating a church that would both fulfill our spiritual needs, along with accepting us for who we are.

Five days later, as Sunday had arrived, we enthusiastically made the trek into the
city center. John, with great consideration, had deduced that a well-known gay – friendly community church might possibly be a better fit for us.

Upon entering this church, John and I were taken aback by the artifacts that
adorned the sanctuary. In addition to crosses, there were so many symbols reflecting
a wide range of religions. It felt as if we had entered a New Orleans’ Mardi Gras
with a rainbow-canopied ceiling. The assigned ministered music was playing the piano
and singing Christian hymns simultaneously. Taking our seats in a pew, we joined a
congregation of maybe twenty people.

Among the Pastor’s opening introduction to the service, she took a type of roll call from the assembled group as to how many different religions were being represented;
Baptist, Methodist, Lutherans and Pagans. As the service progressed, the basis of her sermon was that we all share the same spirit within us, and breath the same air molecules, as did the dinosaurs.
The basic premise, according to this Pastor, was that all of us are connected to each other, the Earth, and everything within the universe. Although we had brought our special Bible with us, no biblical references were made by the Pastor. Her closing summation was that every living being lives in under a “Queen Dom.” At the conclusion of the service, a small type of a brunch buffet was served. As we left the church, John and I both agreed that there was nothing in this service that would draw us any closer spiritually to God. We were very deeply disappointed.

Back home, as John was poised at the computer, once more, in search of a
church akin to our faith and beliefs, he shared with me an opinion of his father, a
Baptist deacon. He held great disdain for, “Church Hopping.” We definitely, did not want to become “church hoppers” but sincerely wanted to find a church that could minister to our needs.
Nearer to our suburban home, John, through his Internet searching, located a
Baptist church, the denomination of his youth. Hence, he phoned and spoke with the church’s secretary, to make sure that this church would be welcoming of him and me. We were assured that we would be welcome and looked eagerly toward attending that church the following week.

Sunday finally arrived, and, with hope, we made a much shorter journey to the
nearby church. This church offered an adult Sunday school, as well as a full service. So,
with open minds and hearts, again, with our Bible in hand, we enthusiastically attended
both Sunday school and worship.

The regular teacher of the Sunday school class was not be available, so the
Pastor, himself, filled in. We received polite, welcoming and favorable greetings from
both the Pastor and the other members in attendance. The focus or theme of the class was
on the readings and dissection of poetry that had no significance whatsoever to any
elements of Christianity. With us, as the exception, no one else, including the Pastor, had
the accompaniment of a Bible.

The sanctuary of the church was plain, sparse and rather dark. Familiar
hymns, however were sung, with piano as instrumental accompaniment. A children’s story was read aloud by a selected member of the congregation, though its content lacked in Christianity, spirituality or apparent purpose. The pastor’s sermon was slanted towards the “fire within us all.” There was not a single scriptural reference made or a Bible opened. We do not recall even seeing a Bible amongst the congregation.

Over the course of the next two days, John and I discussed our most recent
church worship. Neither one of us felt that any “fire was lit within us”. Once again,
John was at the computer, in search of a church that would hold the promise of Bible
usage, actual scriptural reference, and preaching of true gospel, in accordance to the
teachings of Jesus Christ. He, from his deep-seeded background in church, thought it a
bit odd that no pastoral contact had been made – particularly, in that the church was local
and had a relatively small congregation, in comparison to a church within a large city that
has a sizeable congregation.

After a considerable amount of searching on the Internet, John found a most
impressive Website for a Protestant church. The Website’s content appeared to contain
all of the important elements in a church, for which we were seeking. This particular
church, though appearing to be quite significant in its size and scope, was within a
reasonable traveling distance from our home. John suggested that I, in being a
Freelance Writer; Email the church to learn more. I then eagerly sat down at the
computer, and began composing an inquiry.

An hour had not passed after my emailing the church that I just happened to
check our Email inbox. I noted that we had received two new incoming Emails. We had
not only heard from the church that I had so recently emailed, though from the Pastor of
the church we had attended two days ago. Reading the Email from a life group leader of
the newly found church, I found it to be extremely promising. Upon my read of the email
from the pastor, I was touched by its kindly expressed warmness and offer by and for him
to pay us a Pastoral Visit. Immediately, I shared the contents of the two Emails with
John.

Of that night and the day that followed, John and I wrestled with the decision
as to which church to attend on the following Sunday. Finally, based upon the pastor’s
offer to schedule a home visit with us, combined with the fact that the denomination of
his church is of the same that John was baptized in.

Another Sunday had arrived. As we were getting ready for church, John, again
on the Internet, located a better and more direct route of travel in getting to the church.
Along the drive, we spied an exceptionally impressive looking church. Reading its
signage, we noted that it was the church that I had communicated with by Email – and
only six blocks away from the church that we were en-route to.

The regular Sunday school teacher had returned to conduct the class. John and
I had high hopes for towards a curriculum that would feature Christianity. After the all
the attending adults, including the pastor, had assembled, the teacher began the class. He
announced that the new course of study – for at least ten months – would be on the
subject of comparative religions. The teacher then continued on to explain that he had
compiled a listing of some of the religions to be studied. Following his compilation of
diverse faiths, he inquired of the assembly to provide additional religions.

A number of faiths – other than what the teacher had expressed – were called out
amongst the class. Then, members of the class suggested the unthinkable -particularly to
a Christian – Wiccan, Pagan and even Atheist. Adding to this, was that there would be
the procuring of representatives from these religions invited to the church to share their
faiths with the class. The favorable display of enthusiasm shown by the class, the
teacher, and even the pastor, was most unsettling to John and I.

As neither one of us had spoken during the class, up to that point, the teacher
asked us, in being new to their church, if we had any suggestions or thoughts to share.
I could well-sense John’s viewpoint, and knew that, for me, this was not a course of
study that I wanted to be a part of. In taking into appropriate consideration that John
had a more considerable background, in the formal sense of Christianity, I, on our behalf,
delegated the reply to him.

John, in a state of disbelief as to what he had heard expressed and encouraged
within a house of God, was direct and rigid in his response, enhanced by a tone of deep
disappointment. He, therefore, proceeded to offer his opinion, as a Christian. In his
explanation, he pointed out the lack of Bibles, prayer and any scripture reference. The
major concern he saved for the last – what was the purpose for a Sunday School of a
Christian churches to study, and, in addition, have representatives from other religions
come into this church to lecture on their respective religions.

We maintained respect and dignity throughout the remainder of the class. Upon
our exiting the classroom, the pastor approached us, and inquired if we still wanted him
to come to our home for a visit. Filled with disturbed emotion, John stated that it
would not be necessary, then mustered up the appropriate courtesy to shake his hand;
with me following suit, along with a strained, “Thank You.”

It was obvious that we would not be remaining for the service. Once outside the church, John checked the time on his cell phone. He noted and shared with me that we had five minutes to walk back to the other church, in order to make it on time for their ten-thirty service. As we, literally, broke into a running walk, a sense in the
determination towards the belief of our faith empowered us.
Approaching the larger Lutheran church, we could hear the majestic pipe organ, along with the congregation singing the hymn, “Holy, Holy, Holy.” John’s eyes were welling up with tears of joy, sensing a long missed feeling. I was beginning to experience the same satisfaction of the celebration of all things Holy, just as I had
encountered at Momma’s funeral.

Nearly breathless, due to our haste, we entered the church. From my Email
communication with the church’s life group leader, she had instructed a member of the
congregation to watch for John and I. Sure enough, this church member sighted us. With
enthusiasm, he welcomed us in, and graciously secured bulletins for us, then saw to
getting us well seated. Bibles were ever present. Praying and scripture references were
made. The pastor, within his sermon, spoke of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit.
Communion was offered. Familiar hymns were gloriously sung. We could feel the great
presence of the Holy Spirit. It would be a spiritual fit for us.