“Akan isn’t that sort of man,” I said, in Emem’s defence. Akan was fifteen years older than his wife, he wasn’t a kid. Maybe he shut her up on a regular basis, but physical abuse wasn’t a thing I saw him doing.

Cheta chuckled, probably at my naivety. “E no dey show for face. But, that’s by the way. We need to do something about this Ejike thing so it doesn’t repeat itself in the future. You know what I’m thinking, why don’t you come to Abuja and stay with me for the weekend. You can call in sick tomorrow Friday and get on the first flight coming out here. While I’m at work, you’d rest in my apartment. You’d be all alone – complete peace. Lucky you, I got some recent movies and the complete series of Desperate Housewives! Saturday and Sunday, I’d take you around the city. Sunday evening, you are back in Lagos and to your husband who hopefully has come back to his senses. You guys need this time apart. Since he came back from UK, you haven’t been a minute apart. You need fresh air! Lord knows, you two might be suffering from a temporary case of claustrophobia and it’s showing itself through all the bickering you engage in every nano-second.”

“I’m sorry but I can’t leave. Thanks for the offer all the same.” I was disappointed in Cheta for her insensitivity. Whoever told a woman to abandon her husband just because they had an argument?

“I am not asking him to divorce him. I mean, I would if I thought I had any chance of getting through you. I still don’t understand why you married him, but let’s not go there. The deed has been done. All I’m suggesting is a vacation. You are not joined to Ejike’s hips, Tee. When will you realise that?” Cheta rattled on, not picking up on my change of tone.

That was when I blurted, “Cheta, we are married. We are not dating. When will you realise that?”

There an awkward silence. I had done it again: I’d chosen Ejike over Cheta.

“Happy married life, then. Wish you all the best.” And she hung up the phone.

The weekend that followed after saw Ejike deciding that a little friendly visit to our neighbours wouldn’t hurt. Apt timing, that’s all I can say. Lamide was the perfect friend for the stage of life I was in. Emem and Cheta had become inadequate.