As I walked down the stairs, I inhaled the wonderful smells that danced in the morning air. Frying bacon, syrupy pancakes, and coffee brewing. My heart did a little dance of joy. It meant that Daddy was up and cooking breakfast. Mama never made those things. For her a big breakfast was Special K with a dash of skim milk and a grapefruit half. “It’s never too early to watch your figure Ashley,” she would always say if I even mentioned I was still hungry.

 Usually as she eyeballed disapproving my baby fat that hung in the usual places. I never argued with her. Never told her that other girls my age had the same baby fat hanging from their cheeks, stomach, or legs. I knew arguing could lead to bad things. Therefore, I would eat my breakfast in silence. Wishing instead for just a taste of Daddy’s special breakfast.

“Hi Honey!” he called out in a cheerful voice that I could see did not quite meet his eyes. I knew that meant last night had been a bad one. I thought I had heard angry voices in my dreams but I had grown so use to them that I did not even so much as stir. I guess I was hoping that it was just a dream. Seeing the way Daddy was slumped over the counter I knew it had not been. I slid in my chair while telling myself I would be the perfect kid today.

“Did you sleep well?” he put my plate piled full of eggs, bacon, and pancakes. I looked over my shoulder towards their room to see if she was coming out to join us. If she did, I would have to pick at my food and act as if I did not have an interest in it until I was given permission to leave the table. The whole while my belly would be begging to devour it.

“Don’t worry Honey.” he patted my hand “She is sleeping in today. I think she has one of her headaches” he sat down at his seat and began to dig into the plate he had fixed for himself. It was piled with almost as much food as my own. Daddy loved to cook and he loved to eat. 

Neither were things that Mama approved of. He use to tell me about how he dreamed of being a cook in his own restaurant before he met Mama. Then she took over his life and decided he should be a manager at a bank instead. The money was good but at the age of eight, even I could see that Daddy was not very happy with the job. Still it was easier to work at a job that he did not like than it was to challenge Mama. She had a way of making a person pay if they dared to challenge her.