ACCEPTANCE SPEECH

Well, here I am, with the Nobel Peace Prize. I gor’it and you bunch a’sad old losers didn’t. Ha! Ha! Hee! Hee! Yah boo sucks to the lot of you.

I wasn’t even going to come ‘ere ternight, but when the Nobel Commiteeee kindly offered me a free flight, a swank hotel suite and as much of this top notch champagne as I could pour down me neck I jumped at t’chance.

I should probiblee be thankin’ a few people for ‘elping me get the prize, but frankly, I don’t really care. I did all the work meself. Why should anyone elshe get kredit for my efforts?

Oi, Einstein! Leave that alone.

Sorry folks, but our little science award pal was helping himself to some of my champers. Yer don’t deserve it, mate. What’s E = MC Hammer when I single ‘andedly stopped a war in the Middle East? Get yer own booze.

The Nobel trophy’s a bit pants ain’t it? Nevver mind. I’ll flog it on Eeeee Bay as soon as I get ‘ome. The cash’ll come in handy though. I ken get more boose wiv it.

Anyway, can’t ‘ang around ‘ere yappin with more Champers to knock back while the boring economics speeches drone on. Here, Albert. I won’t tell you again. Leave that bottle alone.

Don’t look at me like that, or you’ll find out pain is relative to my fist in yer face. Right, that settles it, you and me, out in the car park now, Einstein…. You’re in for a good kickin’. Come on!

Arthur Chappell

© Copyright. Arthur Chappell