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The cell phone lit up and began to warble. I was watching an old black and white vampire movie with my cousin N.J. Our baby-sitter picked up the phone and walked toward the other room.

She was completely out of the room just as the vampire entered the young woman’s bedroom. I grabbed N.J. and held him tight.

” What?”

” That vampire just reminded me of something,” I replied.

” Okay, again, what?”

” I think grandpa is a vampire.”

” What?” He looked confused. ” He’s too old to be a vampire!”

” Vampires are suppose to be old. They live inside things called centuries. Plus grandpa sleeps all day and stays awake all night!”

” But Ronnie says he’s a night watchman.”

” Yeah, but what does that mean?”

” I don’t know.”

” Exactly!”

N.J. jumped back a bit. ” What’s a century?”

” I don’t know, but I think grandpa drives one.”

N.J. nodded.

” So, we have to help him!”

” Our grandpa is a vampire,” N.J. said slowly.

” No, he’s a Grand-pire!”

N.J. was six month older than I was, but he wasn’t as smart. I once convinced him that the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy were one and the same. He was gullible, but that was only because he was a boy. I had just turned one year old, but I had a mind of a three year old. Which made me easier to baby-sit.

” So how do we help grandpa?” N.J. asked.

” We need to get a steak,” I started.

” A steak?”

” Yeah the movie says we need to put a steak on his chest.”

” Frozen?”

” I guess it doesn’t matter.”

” What else?” N.J. asked.

” Some garlic..”

” Garlic?”

” I guess the steak needs flavor.”

” That doesn’t sound right.”

” Don’t you want to help grandpa become normal?”

N.J. nodded.

” Okay then,” I continued. ” I think we need to catch him while he’s sleeping in some coffee.”

” Grandpa doesn’t sleep in coffee!”

” His shirt always has coffee stains,” I said. ” So we need to pour coffee on him.”