Ok I have finally found the courage and the inspiration to move on. I have found someone who reminds me of what it feels like to have a wholesome union devoid of constant battering and emotional depletion.  My experience with the narcissist is a distance flickering episode from my past that often seem more illusory than real. Sometimes I wonder if I had dreamt the ordeal. I do not remember my self then. I find it hard to reconnect with the emotions that deluge my body then.  I feel alive again.

My new mate behavior reminds and reinforces the notion of a healthy wholesome relationship. I have started to reconnect with my feelings and alas have admitted that I deserve to be happy and pampered. But deep in the recesses of my mind, I am wondering how the narcissist feels now that I have moved on. It is only natural that I would be concerned. In essence my self esteem and confidence in my abilities have not been fully replenished and I am still validating his opinions and concerned about his perception of me. But with each passing day,  I am taking back modicums of my reign on my life.

I feel happy and every thought of going back to the narcissist is pushed from the forefront of my mind with revulsion and execration.  I am finding the idea of going back far more distasteful with each passing day.  I can live again! I am free!