One Woman’s Escape.

Ailsa was waiting. She was always waiting. That’s what she did. Waiting for her husband, her children, even the dog. Today though, today was different. She wiped the draining board down for the last time. Folded his work clothes and put them to air. Stacked the discarded newspapers and magazines into their boxes for recycling. She peered at the floor and, for the last time. She reached for the mop and cleaned the dog’s messy paw prints.

Slavery had been abolished, but that fact had passed Ailsa’s family by. Her Dad had always said that “if there’s a job to be done Ailsa’s your girl”. With no thought to how that made Ailsa feel. Her Mum had made clear that there would be no help with the babies when they came. Babies that were now in their teens and growing like cuckoos in a sparrows nest. Of course she loved her children but no one had ever said that you had to like them. They’d be fine with Dad. She thought of him. The tall, dark haired silent man who literally swept her off her feet that night at the Club when Dad and his mates had started a fight with the visitors. Just because they’d lost a darts match. “Men!” she exclaimed out loud. Then giggled as she realised that there was no one to hear. Her husband. What a transformation. As soon as they were engaged it started. The belly slowly protruded over his trouser belt. His shaving became an alternate day activity. The TV started to become more important in his life. No more walks by the river, his hand clutching hers as they tripped silently, happy in one another’s company. He’d come in and given her £50. “That’s a lot of money, that is” he’d said. She knew it and looked perplexed. “Go and get your self a ring. Better make it legal” he’d muttered. She’d smoothed her hand over the burgeoning bump that was their first born and had smiled wryly at him. “Don’t you want to come?” He looked up from the TV pages and asked in the sarcastic way of his “Come with you. Can’t you find the town on your own now?” She’d not replied, but just as she had undone the latch on the front door he called “and bring back the change.

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Comments (17)
  • Virginia B Gaces on Jan 2, 2009

    Hello P1keF1sh,

    That was cool I like most especially the ending. Wow! I came out happy reading the story. You’ve got style. Keep writing. Kudos to you for a very well written story.

    Jena Isle

  • g_aileen09 on Jan 2, 2009

    You have a future in writing!!! keep it up.

  • Ann Marie/Fifty on Jan 2, 2009

    Yes, I rather thought this was the one.
    And I’ve already given you my ‘critique’.
    For the public record though…………author! author! more! more!
    Congrats on going public with it P1ke. I am proud of you.

  • fasttalker on Jan 2, 2009

    Great Story! Keep up the good work!

  • Wendy on Jan 2, 2009

    I love the way you can tell this woman’s life story, and make me feel what she feels in just a couple of pages. Excellent use of words. I am proud of you. Good job.

    Now, consider my suggestion!*S*

  • Ellie on Jan 2, 2009

    I agree with Wendy youcan feel what this woman feels but really was expecting the ending. Enjoyed the read. Got lost in it. Keep up the good work.

  • Opal on Jan 2, 2009

    Extremely well written Pike! You definitely have a knack
    for story telling! Definitely keep writing! This was a wonderful
    story with a surprisingly happy ending!

  • judy43 on Jan 2, 2009

    I loved it. Very well written. Keep writing

  • LC Sanders on Jan 2, 2009

    Wow, I was surprised with the ending. I like to twist my endings also. I really didn\’t think she would really leave at the end but for that much money I\’m sure I would leave too! ( I don\’t know how much 30 million pounds are in England, can you tell me?)

    http://www.triond.com/users/LC+Sanders

  • P1kef1sh on Jan 3, 2009

    Thank you all for your very encouraging comments. I appreciate them all. L C Sanders: £30 million is about $43.5 million US.

  • elitess on Jan 3, 2009

    Good work pike, keep it up – i am expecting a new story from you soon ;)

  • Mtdewgurl74 on Jan 3, 2009

    Excellant penmanship Steve. I liked this story alot, It says they are hope out there for many who find themselves in the same place in their life and that they are always hope and that they just have to take that step in the right direction for them. They don’t have to wait to win a few million to do so. Just have support waiting. loved your story..

  • JulioBandido on Jan 3, 2009

    You are good. Shall we all expect you now to go full-blast on writing?

    May the GOOD LORD always keep the winds behind your sails.

  • Dorypanda on Jan 3, 2009

    That’s a brilliant story, I didn’t expect that ending. Keep up the writing. :)

  • Mary Patricia Bird on Jan 5, 2009

    Great story with quite a surprise, and pleasant, ending. Good work.

  • Franny on Jan 7, 2009

    Well done Pikey. What a beaut story…I too became quite caught up in the drudgery that was this woman’s life. I’d love to have read the card she left him and I’d loved to have been a fly on the wall when they realised she was gone…what a great story…you have a gift my friend…truly.

  • Owlwings on Jan 13, 2009

    Very nice writing, P1kef1sh. Just the right touch of wistfulness, leaving the triumphal fanfare to the very last moment. It is good – very good!

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