Image via Wikipedia

All in a flash….

I remember when I stood at the balcony holding onto a dying cigarette…asking myself is this what I want? Then the drag killed the cigarette some more and I let the fumes enter my system. The smoke that emerged out of my nostrils seemed to be less than the amount that went in earlier..Time has gone away in a flash. It has been more than two years. She was the light of my existence. I smiled thinking of her perfect smile…..

The smile died faster when I recalled the words she said when she left….. It was frozen in my mind as if time had a heart attack and let me register everything around me. I was at work when I got the phone call. We had been arguing of late and so I briskly walked out of my office lest the eaves-dropping colleagues get a chance to be involved. Then it came like an explosion, “I’m leaving for good. I’ve decided on moving on with Dave. I was seeing him behind you from the start. Don’t stop me. Don’t try to follow me….I know you will be OK. I’m sorry. I can’t pretend to love you anymore”.

The words “seeing him behind you from the start”, was a bullet into my head. Then the flashes of the past made sense. The times I found Dave’s pictures with her, the late office phone calls, he was his best friend?! How could I have been so stupid and lead on to believing her blindly?!

That was the day I took up a cigarette and never stopped. It was the only way I could see flashes going up in flames. There were more miserable times and I touched the marks on my hand and back in a flash, I remembered cutting myself to let the pain hurt me. The physical pain was bearable and the blood was flowing…all that while, the mental torture of having been betrayed seemed to hurt me more. I screamed in to the silent night and the house was empty. I couldn’t sleep. I dreamt of her. She haunted me. I was going mad and I knew it.