Mary stood squinting at the front of the church as the sunlight streamed through the stained glass window above the altar. The sunbeams seemed to fall directly on to the vicar, so that Mary could see only a dazzling blurry white shape, like a smudged angel.

This was probably just as well, Mary thought, as the vicar was a heavy-set woman who was sweating profusely. She was doing well though, considering she was so nervous at presiding over her first wedding. This was Mary’s first wedding too, and she was keeping her fingers crossed that the next few minutes ran smoothly. As she looked over at Tom, though, Mary could not quell a deep sense of foreboding. It was all she could do to bite her lip to stop herself from telling the vicar to ‘hurry up’, so impatient was she to get past the ‘I do’ part of proceedings.

Tom was oblivious to Mary’s eyes boring into the side of his head. He was feeling hot and uncomfortable thanks to the sunbeams, the suit and the copious amounts of sambuca he had consumed on his stag night. Everyone had told him that it was a mistake to have his stag on the eve of his wedding. He hadn’t listened. And now his hangover had just started to kick in.

Tom swallowed back an advance reconnaissance party of vomit as he swayed on his heels and did his level best to concentrate on not falling over. He just wanted the ceremony to be over with so that he could have another drink and start to feel better. As the vicar droned on Tom began to lose his concentration. Outside, a cloud passed the sun, and all of a sudden Tom came face-to-face with the sweating, almost masculine face of the vicar. With a start Tom wondered whether he was looking at the future first lesbian Archbishop of Canterbury. Then he noticed the vicar was regarding him curiously. Meanwhile, the white knuckles of Mary’s hand as she gripped her bouquet too tightly and her crossed fingers betrayed her desperation to be home and dry.

            The vicar smiled nervously at the miserable-looking couple in front of her. Both of them looked as if they’d rather be anywhere but here. Hoping that everything would continue to go as smoothly as it had so far, she took a deep breath.