Attack of the stag

I had a bad history with dangerous bugs. Months earlier I had decided to find a new pet to replace my pet king snake I had found, and what better candidate for my new best friend, than a gigantic tropical wolf spider? Our first play date involved me poking it in the back with a stick. It got VERY angry and tried to scurry away. Upon seeing this I got very frustrated and grabbed it by one of it’s tree-trunk legs, held it up in front of me, and with my other hand poked it in the stomach with my index finger. Apparently Henry the wolf spider didn’t like being tickled and preceded to show me who was boss. A few deep bites and I dropped Henry like he was a hot potato…except now I don’t have an irrational fear of potatoes, like I do spiders. Before long I had all forgotten the tough lesson that I had learned about playing with bugs, as you will read later in the memoir.

We lived in a small trailer that was owned by my grandparents. It was the home of my dad, my mom, my sister, my dog, and me. Our place was right smack in the middle of the woods, so was situated in an open wood clearing. Our gravel driveway wound up a small hill to the actual trailer. Along the gravel pathway that led to our home, were chopped down trees that were laid sideways to keep dirt from falling down the dirt banks that lined the path.

Before I begin I must inform the reader (yes, you) of a few things. First, at the time of the story I was living in Raleigh, North Carolina. Now, there are a few differences that you may not know about between the north and the south. The most obvious is the poverty level is higher down south, the accents, and slang (“ya’ll” versus “you’se guys”, etc…). Some people don’t realize that it is more than just that. Down south is like a different world from up north. There are many creatures and animals that live predominately in the south, due to the climate differences, so people don’t really know what they are. Not only this, but the critters that you would recognize, dwarf the size of northern creatures. I am not sure if you will recognize one of our southern creepy crawlies, or maybe you will; stag beetles. They are large beetles with hard shells, and a very strong neck with gigantic pincers at the tip. Their pincers look like they could clamp your arm off. Stag beetles behave much like ants, they live in rotten logs or burrows, they fight with their pincers, and where you find one stag beetle, you are sure to find a ton more.