My dear old Aunt Martha loves to cook and bake and clean her house. But what she loves most of all is to throw parties. And her favourite parties to throw are Tupperware parties.

Now, just by one of those quirky coincidences that happen in fictional stories, my dear old Aunt Martha’s next door neighbour is Nutuba’s dear old Aunt Ruth. These dear old ladies just live for Tupperware parties. They are both delightful hostesses. But, by another of those quirky coincidences, they both need just a little refresher now and again with their grammar. (And by grammar I don’t mean “grandma” in Ruby Hawk’s North Georgia Mountain dialect, I mean the kind that the kids learn in school). 

And so it was that one sunny Saturday afternoon,  I was summoned by invitation to Aunt Martha’s front parlour to attend another delightful Tupperware party. Nutuba’s dear old Aunt Ruth was also in attendance by invitation, seeing as how she lived next door and all. My cranky old Auntie Nym was in attendance also, but not by invitation. She is just one of those ornery old souls who doesn’t get invitations to Tupperware parties, but crashes them anyway. She tends to do the opposite of what everyone else does.

At precisely 2:12, Aunt Ruth asked Aunt Martha, “Is there more people coming?” Now, I just hate correcting people, but I do it anyway. “Are there more people coming.” Aunt Ruth looked at me and said, “Now, just because your Aunt Martha is old doesn’t mean she is deaf. I just asked her that.” To which I replied, “Oh no, I wasn’t asking the same question. You asked if there is more people coming. The question should be ‘Are there more people coming.”

Aunt Ruth rolled her eyes like a teenager. (I know this look. I have two teenage daughters who have mastered it.) “You sound just like my nephew, Joel. He is always repeating what I say too.”

I don’t like to aggrevate these dear old ladies, so I calmly explained. “You have to use the correct conjugation of the verb. You use is if the subject is singular, as in ‘Is Auntie Nym here?’. If the subject is plural, you use are, as in ‘Are there more people invited?’.”

“You know that your Auntie Nym wasn’t invited!” Aunt Martha exclaimed. “She just shows up. Now is there anymore silly questions, or can we get on with the Tupperware demonstration? I need a new lid for my salad spinner.”

“Are there anymore questions,” I pointed out patiently.

“Land sakes, child! Must you keep repeating everyone’s questions?” Aunt Martha exclaimed.

“No. I mean that the word questions is plural, so you have to use are.”

“Now you’re starting to sound like that pirate, Captain Bojack!” Aunt Martha was getting a little miffed. “Can we just get on with this party?”

“Certainly,” I replied. “Everyone is here. There are no more questions. There will be no more interruptions from me.”

Auntie Nym spoke up for the first time. “Now you listen to our niece, Martha. She talks good.”

“Well” I corrected.

“Well what, child?” Aunt Martha asked.

“Well is an adverb. I talk well”.

Aunt Martha and Aunt Ruth both rolled their eyes.