“Oh come on, Bryce Dallas Howard,” said Batman. “Gimme a kiss.”

“Christian, I can’t,” Bryce said. “I’m seeing somebody now.”

Batman thought this was hilarious. “Oh this oughtta be good. Someone better then me, huh?” 

“Christian–”

“No seriously babe,” Batman said. “Unless you’re getting it on with RoboCop or John McClaine from Die Hard, I really don’t think I have anything to worry about.”

Bryce continued to try to calm Batman down, for the news of who she was seeing was sure to make him flip. “Christian…Christian…”

But it was too late. Appearing with flowers at that moment…was Spider-Man.

“Hey baby,” he said. 

Batman couldn’t believe it. “TOBEY?!!! TOBEY?!!! I don’t freaking belie–TOBEY?!!” 

“What?” Bryce defended. “He’s making 50 million dollars now. Alex Rodriguez of Mariners and Yankees fame doesn’t even make 50 million dollars.”

“Yeah,” Tobey explained to Batman. “You see at Marvel, they believe in the actors. When one of them is really really good in ‘Batman Begins’, they don’t let her vanish. They get on their god damn knees and whisk Katie Holmes back for ‘Dark Knight’. Maybe we would have seen Aaron Eckhart properly motivated.

Batman was on the verge of laughter. “Faith in your characters, huh?”

“Faith in our characters,” Tobey confirmed.

“Like Roadie?”

Tobey was confused. He turned to Bryce who was all ready to explain.”He’s right, Tobes. Terrence Howard had no idea in the world he was being replaced in Iron Man 2.”

Tobey couldn’t believe this. “Samuel L. Jackson’s gonna be Nick Fury! Who the hell cares who’s Roady?! We might even see the Enforcers in this thing! Ox, Fantastic Dan, and the guy I can’t remember at the moment!”

“Of course they are,” smirked Batman. “Because Marvel didn’t even have enough faith in their top character Tony Stark to helm an entire movie by himself! And Spider-Man 3 was stupid!” 

Bryce turned to Batman. “Christian, you know Terminator Salvation is going to have moviegoers wishing they were at Spider-Man 3.”

“Oh come on,” said Batman. “You telling me you were the one little girl that didn’t like Newsies?”

Bryce folded her arms. “What if I told you I liked Pleasentville more?”

“Ha!” Spider-Man gloated.

“Oh come on!” said Batman. “This is ridiculous, you’re impressed with 50 million dollars? I’ve been in 46 movies in the last 3 years and I’m going to be in a hundred more in the next ten!”

“Yes…but…” Spider-Man countered. “I’m about to make that money…on two films.”

“Wait a minute,” said Batman. “I know what the problem is. Bryce, you still think I’m a prick from when I bitched out that director of photography.”

“Yes,” said Bryce.

“Whoa whoa,” said Tobey. “Now I can kind of sympathize with Christian on this.”

“Tobey,” Bryce said. “My ears are still ringing.”

“So appearing with me in ‘Dancing With Comic Book Characters’ or ‘Sand-Man on Ice” or whatever Spider-Man 3 was supposed to be didn’t embarrass you one little bit?”

“Oh please,” said Batman. “I don’t need your pity, Spider-Man.  What is going on with this world? I have everybody eating out of my hand and now half of them think I’m cocky and the other half think I need to be PITIED?!”

But Tobey had an answer. “Batman, you’re familiar with Christopher Young, right?”

“Who?”

“The guy who made the music for Spider-Man 3?”

“Oh…man. Yeah.”

“I really wanted to ice that guy,” Spider-Man admits. “But see…Bryce Dallas Howard here was in the vicinity for basically the whole time I was in the vicinity of Young. I knew if I was ever going to get with her, I’d have to watch my tongue.”

Batman could see the irony. “I think we’re destined to debate this for a long long time.”

Meanwhile Bryce was seated against ther wall, yawning, and turning the pages in her bookmarked copy of New Moon.