The Dark Knight doesn’t kill people. And he was really angry at Ghost Rider…who seemed to thrive on this fact. 

“Ghost Rider,” he grumbled, “I’m considering breaking my one rule.”

“Yeah alright Twilight of the Rings,” Ghost Rider snickered in the same low-pitched grumble…but with a Southern twang, “Already been down that route. And it’ll take alot more then you and the grace of god to make me go that route ag-ayin.”

Batman took a deep breath and counted to ten. “Alright Ghost Rider, I’ve tried to be nice. I’ve pitied you for over thirty years because you were the DC of Marvel Comics. HellTennisPlayer why don’t they. But then you got a movie that had SAM ELLIOTT in it for Christ’s sake and quite frankly I’m jealous. So I’m going to finally do away with you before you can even dare step to the Knight. Bobby Blaze or Ruben Blades or Ruben Studdard or whatever your name is. It’s called plagierism, you understand? Do I have to spell it out? Legion is the Scarecrow but blue like Mystique, your character itself is bascially me but with skeletons and fire, and your Bat Pod is the whole thing that defines you. That’s why Aquaman — gets no play. Flash — gets no play. They’re dope in Mortal Kombat. Granted that. But what does Aquaman do when the criminals leave the pool? Or an escape chopper takes Flash’s enemies away?”

“Sam Elliott’s in my movie, punk,” replied Ghost Rider.

“SEE!!!” flipped Batman. “You STOLE FROM ME AGAIN!!! IS ANYONE SEEING THIS?! IT HAPPENED AGAIN!!! YOU JUST KEEP DOING IT!!!”

Suddenly in entered Aunt May.”CHRIS-TIAN BALE!”

“I’m sorry Aunt May,” said Batman. “I was having a bad day. People just don’t understand that when you jump into someone’s view like that, and you have to jump out of character in order to tell them s*** they should already f**king know, it gets f***ing frustrating but I’m sorry Aunt May.”

“You know,” May said patting him on the back, “I believe there’s a McG in all of us. Makes us…read directions more carefully, and finally allows us to make movies with unqualified roommates from college, even though sometimes we…have to give up the thing we want the most…including four-star reviews from Roger Ebert and other esteemed critics. Ghost Rider does that for people and…we wonder what Sam Elliott’s doing right now. We…need him.”