Associated Press  Bird S#!t  12/1/08

Washington DC – Birds attack! According to reporter Mrs, Fulla 

Schitt, the Statue of Liberty is under attack! Birds from all over the U.S. 

are stopping at the monument to relive themselves. The problem was first 

noticed when the statue changed color from a puke green to a pearly white/

gray.  The White House sprung into action when President Bush 

discovered that Italy was attacking our liberty by sending pigeons overseas 

to bomb our national monument. On a personal level Dr, Pae Mee Moore 

says his statue is poorly cared for, allowing pigeons to poop there. In his 

own words Dr. Moore said “To hell with your blasted Statue of Liberty! 

What about my statue? What about my liberty?” he went on to say that if 

sufficient action is not taken to prevent this (what he called) blasphemy, he 

would sue the United states! Mr. Moore did eventually go to court and 

successfully sued Mr. Bush and the United States. He demanded that the 

Statue of Liberty be taken down and a statue of himself replace it. He later 

said “Now the people of America can know that there is true American 

justice!”. A month later Mr. Bush was vindicated when Italian military 

planes bombed Dr. Pae Mee Moore’s statue, mistaking it for the Statue of Liberty. 

After learning of their mistake, the Mafia captured Mr. Moore and are 

currently holding him hostage at an undisclosed location. Since he was 

unable to comment Dr. Moore ‘s “statue” was taken down and once again 

replaced. This time with the Statue of Liberty.