Being a young stay-at-home mom, much of my time is spent on the internet when I’m not tending to my children. Over the last two years, I’ve begun to notice a certain trend popping up in the media. That trend is the controversy over different artists, such as Rhianna and Christina Aguilara, using bondage themes in their music videos. These videos have caused quite a stir because of how many people they have offended. Most people assume that S&M is a horrible thing that is practiced only by freaks, but it is simply not true.

Let me back up a little, in order to get the explanation under way. BDSM is a compound (or continual) acronym that stands for a number of things. BD is for bondage and disipline, DS is for dominance and submission, and SM is for sadism and masochism. Many people are disturbed by the terms described above, though there is nothing to be disturbed by.

I personally am part of the BDSM life style, and can tell you from experience that it’s not about being cruel (for those of us who are dominant), and it’s not about not knowing our self worth (for those of us who are submissive).

For some people, bondage can be a way of release for emotions that have built up on the inside over a long period of time, and I’m not just talking about for dominants (I am a submissive). My life is filled with constant daily stress,and I hold a lot of my anger and rage inside to prevent from hurting others, so I’m sure it’s a shocker that I’m a submissive. Well, when I feel pain, it makes sex more satisfying for me. Also, when I’m being disiplined, every spank or slap I feel helps sooth the built up anger that was inside me before. So BDSM can be seen as a form of therapy for some (as it is for me).

I know above I stated that bondage can be a way of release for some, but that is only one explanation of the life style. What many do not understand, is that BDSM is also about one of life’s most important values: TRUST. For those who venture into this life style, you know trust is important. You have to be able to trust your partner to know his or her limits, so that no one is seriously hurt or killed as a result. Open communication is key to acheiving this. You must be open and upfront with you partner about what is or is not allowed. If you should decide later down the line to add new twists or adventures to the life style, then talk about them with your partner. New things can be exciting and fun Also, you will find over time, that as you trust your partner in the bed room (or dungeon room or whatever), because BDSM does require trust, you will also trust your partner more OUTside the bed room in other aspects of your life