Bonnie slowly opened her eyes and used what strength she could to smile frailly at her mother who was slumped over in a small cushioned chair next to her bed, asleep.  Her shoulder length, strawberry blonde hair hung limp, with thin stands lying across her face.  She thought about moving them but changed her mind when she realized it would take a little more effort today.  Her breath felt heavy in her chest and she grimaced at the thought of getting up but she knew that she had to.  Today was going to be the best day of her life, if, she could just prove to her mother that she had the will and the strength to leave the house.

She took as deep a breath as she could and with all the strength she could momentarily muster, heaved herself into a sitting position.  She couldn’t help but think, maybe I’ll see mommy really smile today.  That would be good.  At that very moment, her mother’s eyes snapped open and immediately locked on to her.  When she saw that Bonnie was fine, she cautiously let out the air she routinely held hostage in her lungs when she wasn’t sure what would find when she looked upon her daughter.  Bonnie gave her a wavering smile and at the same time rolled her eyes and said, “Mommy, I’m ok see?  I’m just sitting up.”  

A hard lump rose in her mothers’ throat and she forced a smile that didn’t quite meet her eyes. “That’s great baby.” she said and leaned forward so that she could brush the hair out of Bonnie’s face with gentle fingers.  Wendy and Bonnie looked at each other with the same pale blue eyes.  Even though Bonnie was only seven years old, anyone would be able to tell that Bonnie would look like her mother one day.  The lack of sleep that caused bruising under her eyes, as well as the droopy, waxy look of her hair from days without washing, matched Bonnie’s.  The only difference was that Bonnie looked that way because the night sweats and tremors that would waken her, usually just past midnight.  “Do you want some water? Are you hungry?” she asked, with a surprisingly steady voice.  Catching her off guard another lump attacked her throat and a sob threatened to escape, so without waiting for an answer she stood up and rushed out of the room.  It didn’t take long before she entered the room carrying a bowl of tomato soup and a bottle of water on a tray.  This time she smiled sincerely when she saw that Bonnie was still sitting up and had a strong smile on her face.  “You look really good today.” she told her.