The snow is deep and the sky black, with thunder so loud the ground itself shakes as if with fear. It is winter in a strange land, as you had undoubtedly guessed. We follow an old route through the forest, long buried by the season. Watched by owls and nastier creatures we make our way through the valley until we reach the castle. Quickly now, through the gate and up the stairs. Ah, here we are, behind this tapestry; we find ourselves in a black tunnel. If we had feet my friend, they’d be crunching rather unsightly things as we shuffle forward. Wait! What’s that? Voices in the dark…

“You want me to do what?”

A sigh. “It’s easy, for goodness’ sake. You climb up, through the whole in the roof there, feel around the other side, flip the lock and let me in!”

“If it’s so easy, Billy, why don’t you do it?”

“Because, Willy, someone has to be on this side to open the door.”

In the damp dark, you can almost feel the dusty cogs turning as poor Willy tries to process this.

“Oh”, he decides.

“Right, off you pop then.”

There is some shuffling as the young man scrambles up the tunnel wall. Willy’s boots scrape at the wall, shards of rock beat at the ground, and now a new sound joins the medley. A key twists inside the lock.

“Psst! Willy! Get down here!”

“You just told me to get up here!”

“Willy… there’s someone on the other side of the door.”

“This door?”

“No, the kitchen door, what door do you think!?”

“I think I’ll stay up here.”

“What?” A warm light seeps through the gap; the heavy oak door is slowly being prised open. “Wait there! I’m coming up.”

A soldier almost the width of the tunnel steps through. He yawns, and pats his giant armour-bound stomach with the hand not holding the torch. Had he looked up at that moment, he might have seen two young men holding – for dear life – onto each other as they prop themselves up against the roof of the tunnel. Of course, he might not have done; the tunnel was still very dark. It doesn’t matter really, for just then…

“Hey Billy, I’m slipping.”

“Willy, don’t you dare.”