Once upon a time there was a blender named Brenda. Brenda had been bought from Macy’s by a young couple who liked to throw parties. Brenda loved the couple’s parties very much because she always got to mix the margaritas that they served at the party. Everybody always thought Brenda made the best margaritas and people would come from many miles away just to enjoy them at these parties. Most nights Brenda was pretty careful not to drink any of the drinks as she was mixing them for fear of losing her margarita touch.

One day after a rough day at her work in the 56th Lane Diner where she was a milkshake blender. Brenda came home to find that her couple was throwing a huge party that very same night. The party started out wonderfully and Brenda was feeling good making her excellent margaritas. By about midway through the party though Brenda decided that she could use a drink herself and had one her margaritas. Finding it to be wonderfully fruity she had another and another. Unfortunately the couple had never told Brenda about the alcoholism that ran through her family and pretty soon Brenda had become a raging lunatic blender.

Completely out of control she jumped in the couple’s 1967 VW MiniBus and zoomed off in a cloud of dust and exhaust. Brenda was feeling good and enjoying herself just taking a cruise when she saw John who was a cook at the diner. She picked him up and soon she was flying through the streets once more. John suggested they go back to his place to have some more margaritas and Brenda agreed.

After having drank another Margarita and a half Brenda started to feel woozy. It was at this point that John told her how he spiked her drink with a date rape drug and then proceed to rape the poor blender. After having his way with the poor blender ( I wish to not go into the details of the gruesome act) John threw the unconscious Brenda into the couple’s yard.

John eventually was sent to jail where he became Moe’s bitch and Brenda spent many years in counseling trying to get over the whole ordeal. Her margaritas were never the same.