One of a number of short-short humorous stories I wrote in the early 1990s.
Cola, the bear was actually a koala, not a bear at all. He was born at the Leengil Baaring National Park in Victoria, around the time the great tourist boom started in Australia in the mid 1980s.
One day in his eighth month, after Cola had just emerged from his mother’s pouch, he was clinging to his mum’s back as she moved about the branches of a large blue gum, when from below him a loud voice drawled, “Mar guard, lark ut the lartle barbie cola bar.” Which in English means, “My God, look at the little baby cola bear.” Looking down Cola was amazed by the sight of the pink-haired woman, leading a stars-and-stripes T-shirted young boy. Although the tourist guide was quick to correct the woman, assuring her that you pronounce it “koh-arl-ah”, the name stuck, so for the rest of his life the koala was known as Cola.
In those early months of his life, Cola lived in his mother’s territory, deep within the park. But as is the custom with koalas, at eighteen months age he set out to claim his own territory. Most young koalas in the park foraged deeper into the wilderness, in a bid to elude the prying eyes and flashing cameras of the mainly Japanese or American tourists. But after his first glimpse of pale pink hair and starred-and-striped T-shirt, Cola decided human beings could be an endless source of amusement. So, rather than journeying deeper into the park, Cola headed out and found himself a large blue gum grove adjoining the main tourist coach depot.
Although during the daytime Cola spent very little time up his gum tree. Instead, the moment he heard the first coach approaching in the morning, Cola would scamper to the ground and race across the grass on his stumpy little legs, heading toward his favourite tourist observation spot: a metal signpost near the path from the coach stop. Cola would scamper up the metal pole and sit at the top, hidden from view behind the hexagonal sign, waiting for unsuspecting tourists to walk over to read it. Then he would pop his large, grey-furred head over the top of the sign and startle them.
On one occasion this brought better results than usual. A family of five were standing in front of the sign and had just read out, “Take care, koalas crossing!” when up popped Cola to greet them.
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