I conduct myself according to an inveterate “all or nothing” approach to life. I strive for perfection in all that I am as an imperfect being, and am driven by the ever-existing need to prove myself, to show I have worth, and most importantly, a purpose. I have a strictly defined picture of my ideal self for which I will relentlessly seek to obtain, and the frequently recited maxim “nobody is perfect” will never be allowed to interfere. The appeal to life lies only in its mastery, and in my pursuit for greater knowledge, wisdom, skill, and virtue, any concept involving human limitations is not seen as a natural barrier I should merely lie down and accept, but as a challenge I am meant to overcome. I am much too competitive to allow myself to yield to the simple idea that anything is innately impossible, and the world’s attempt to convince me otherwise only further potentiates my desire to prove it wrong. This I cannot help.

Simply put, all I want is to feel good enough, and I am constantly haunted by the feeling of inadequacy. I set goals with the intent of reaching them regardless of difficulty, and I do so with a pervasive anxiety that I am persistently working to avoid. This anxiety stems from a past undeniably marked with failure, external criticism, and the realistic conclusion that I failed because I did not try hard enough. I will not allow myself to fall to the temptation of giving up, because I know that by doing so, I will have proven myself to be nothing more than a massive collection of unfulfilled potential.

I will not allow myself to be associated with said unfulfilled potential. I believe that anything is possible through sheer will, and the ability to control a future situation or possible conflict is always achievable by using the power of logic and foresight. I recognize and respect the omnipotence of intelligence and reason above anything else. It should come as no surprise now to anyone that the most important faculty within my ideal self involves the ultimate outcome of intellectual superiority. With such intelligence, I would–in theory–be able to completely avoid any uncontrollable situations.

I place extreme value on prediction and foresight, thus furthering my need to always strive for a better understanding and threshold of intelligence. I dread the feeling of uncertainty, as well as even the slightest possibility of using poor judgment or feeling stupid. Perfection, in any respect, would mean the possibility of stupidity being the ultimate outcome in any scenario would be completely eliminated. While others will be quick to point out that “to err is human,” my penchant for seeking perfection grows stronger in the back of my mind, the incendiary nexus of all I desire. I would not dare to stray from its apocryphal guidance, as I’ve come to learn that the challenge of always needing to do better than I’ve done before, the insatiable thirst for improvement, the summons to contest the extremes of my ability and push myself further than believed to be possible… this is my rapture. The zenith of my element. My motivation is fueled by the undeniable satisfaction that follows each milestone reached; my obsequious alacrity is rewarded by knowing I am just that much closer.