I already had a strange feeling for Brian since the first day of meeting him. I just probably find him different from most of the guys. Or shall I say, he’s totally different from my past boyfriends. For a handsome and smart guy like him, he should be exposed to the world dominated by men. But he opted to leave his lucrative job to be a hands-on dad to his kids since his wife left the family to be with another guy.

I never thought, I would feel something special for him. I have to admit that most of my male admirers are married, but I was never involved with anyone of them and I can’t imagine a moral person like me in an extra-marital affair. Initially, my friend introduced Brian to me because she thought, his life had been so boring. He’s got no one to talk to, he only reads books and does yoga. She also stressed that Brian has a problem and I am the best person he can share his disappointments in life with. I waited for Brian to tell me about his past but he never did. He seemed happy and content

What Brian and I shared is nothing but friendship. We normally just talked about books, movies, politics, religion, and other sensible topics. There was no dull moment with him. He’s funny yet very intellectually stimulating. Although, we always spent time together, he never took advantage of me, and there was never a time when I tried to tempt Brian to be in a relationship other than what we have. He is a perfect gentleman and I admire him more for that.

His kids, by the way, got so attached to me, maybe because they missed their mom a lot. And I felt a different kind of joy whenever I am with them. I learned how to stretch my patience, I gave them the love of a real aunt. Sometimes, it was hard for me to leave them as they would cry every time I go home. I never had any babysitting experience not even with my real nephews and nieces, but with his kids, I find babysitting fun and easy. Believe it or not, but I sometimes feel that they’re my real kids.

A lot of our friends thought there’s something going on between us. Some even insisted that Brian has special feelings for me. And according to them, it’s acceptable because his wife has her own life now away from them. I usually found myself telling each of them that Brian and I are just friends and that he doesn’t need a woman to complete him. But at the back of my mind, I wished, all their perceptions about us are true. I wish, Brian really has special feelings for me. Sometimes I got curious to know. Yet sometimes, I felt I would rather not know. I would rather not ask a question that might drive him away. But, I can’t go on, I’m suffering. I am starting to worry about the kids too who got used to spending time with me. I would surely miss them if their Dad decides to end our friendship. Yet , what if Brian feels the same way but just scared of losing me? What if he loves me after all? What if…?