Professor Schnapps stood by the dock. He was inflating the getaway raft. The Cuban waters were dark and cold.

“This is stupid. Your plan will never work.” Spanky walked out of the shadows slowly. He looked so disheveled. His hat was barely on his head, and he only had one shoe. Schnapps looked at him suspiciously.

“If you come with me it will work.” He coaxed.

“Never! You’re a stupid chicken eraser and you smell like peppermint!”

Professor Schnapps stared confused and slightly amused, “What? I do not smell like peppermint. I’ll have you know that-” Spanky waved his hand arrogantly in Schnapps’ face, and left without another word.

The professor grabbed his Nextel walkie-talkie and started singing “Survivor”. Soon all the refugees came running. The raft was fully aired up and everyone boarded to leave Cuba.

“Tally ho!” shouted Professor Schnapps.

***********

It had been two days since they left the docks. Some of the refugees were getting restless. They were like homeless men fighting over a piece of cheese; barbarians on a bloated piece of plastic.

Professor Schnapps was now desperate. He had to do something to keep these men together or face certain death in the middle of the ocean. He thought up a sort of clever plan. It was what he had to do to reach Florida and start a chicken circus in Miami.

He reached for the shortest refugee and lifted him up. Everyone watched in horror as he walked over to the side. With one strong gesture he threw the man over the side just as a shark was swimming under the boat.

“Oh my god! Help me!!” He screamed as the shark grabbed onto this leg. He flailed around for a few minutes before he was dragged away, never to be seen again; in one piece at least.

“Row!” commanded Professor Schnapps. Out of fear of being thrown over board as well everyone rowed like the wind.

Soon they reached the boarder. All the refugees quickly ran away and got jobs at KFC. As for Professor Schnapps, he stole a bunch of chickens from some disoriented homeless man outside of a Fuddruckers and proceeded on to create his dream of a chicken circus.

Sadly the homeless man was just faking it and tackled the professor in between the doughnut juggling and the chicken juggling, causing him to become a vegetable.