While out on an international expedition, a Frenchman, an Englishman, and an American suddenly find themselves being held captive by cannibals.

After being tied to stakes in the center of the village, the chief comes to them and says, “Well, the bad news is you’re going to die. After which we will put you in a pot, boil you, and eat you, using your skins and various body parts to make clothes and such.”

Shocked, the Englishman shouts “You uncouth bastards!”, while the Frenchman yells in despair, “It’s all over!”. Strangely, the American remains silent…

The chief, hearing these words, speaks to the captured men. “It would seem that our kind has something of an unfavorable stigma where you come from. To show you we are not complete savages, I will allow you to choose the manner of your death, and as chief of this tribe I will uphold your choice, for we are not uncouth!”

The Frenchman says, “I choose ze sword.”  The chief nods his head, and sends a nearby boy to his hut to retrieve a sword. Upon his return, the chief hands the Frenchman the sword to which, he yells, “Vive la France!” and runs himself through.

The Englishman says, “A pistol for me, please.”  The chief again has the item fetched from his hut. Giving the Englishman the weapon, he points it at his head, saying, “God save the queen!” shooting himself.

The American, after all this time, nods to the Chief.

The Chief, triumphantly smiling, says to the American, “And what shall you choose for your manner of death, white devil?”, as the French and Englishman are dragged away.

The American smiles broadly and says, “Old Age.”