The alarm clock rings and startles me from my sleep.  It rings for a few seconds.  “Emily, turn it off,” I mumble while burying my face into the pillow.  I look over, and she’s not there.  I almost forgot.  I reach over and turn off the alarm.  I stare at the ceiling, trying to remember my dream.  It was nice whatever it was.  I can’t remember it.  Oh well.

My head doesn’t really hurt anymore, but out of ritual I take more tylenol.  I look in the mirror.  Damn, I really need to shave.  I wonder if I looked this bad when Karen was here lastnight.  Probably.  And the house looks like crap, too.  I could have at least picked up the dirty clothes.  Oh well, nothing I can do about it now.  I sit down to have some more frosted flakes for breakfast.  I stare into the bowl.  Is this what my life is going to be like from now on?  Soggy cereal in 2% milk?  Yummy.  Arne is probably sitting down to bacon and eggs.  Damn him.  Maybe Karen is buttering some toast for him.  He probably doesn’t even say thank you.  Bastard.  When Emily made me anything, I always said thank you.  At least I think I did.  Well, I did when I remembered to.  If I had Emily here with me, I’d thank her for everything.  Even the stupid things.  I’d thank her for her patience, her laugh, and maybe even the way she always ran her fingers through her hair.  Her hair was so beautiful.  It was as black as the darkest shadow, miles long, and shiny enough to blind you.  I wish I had told her that.  Not just that, but everything.  Damn it, I didn’t tell her so many things.  

Damn it, I was no better to her than that bastard Arne is to Karen.  I didn’t tell her how much I loved her, how much I appreciated her, how much I’d miss her if she was gone.  She is gone.  And I didn’t tell her anything.  Damn it.