The stink of fresh fish sunning beneath a tropical sun burns my nostrils as I am dragged through the wet market. To look at the worms being sold for someone’s dinner always has me woozy without fail. I become hypnotised by their senseless writhing in plastic bags that are rolled down to welcome the customers’ prodding. Flies annoy vendors and their fat-marbled assorted meats. The slabs of flesh are so pungent they make me gag. My mom moves the meat, fish and worms around with a thumb and finger, like critical pincers, and I notice this is her precursor to buying anything. No touch: no sell. These irritants disappear when I come across a dog-eared cardboard box. It feels like rummaging through a box of cotton wool balls and wet tongues here and there. My giggling excites the puppies even more.

            ‘I want one,’ I say to mom, putting on my best cute, whiney voice and the doe-eyes.

            ‘No.’ Her resistance means nothing to me as I refuse to budge from my crouching position and do my “neglected child” act. It takes a little more convincing with this parent. All I need to do with mom is make a scene. She hates my public tantrums and so do I, but if I feel I’m being wronged everybody will know about it.

            ‘Don ask me foh anyting evah again!’ she hisses at me, handing the five ringgit to the Chinese man.  

            ‘Ya…’ I reply absent-mindedly, hugging my little box, cooing through its holes.

            ‘You should’ve waited to get home. Udah beranak udok aku.’ Auntie Gina passes a tiny puppy to me. I didn’t even know her dog was going to have puppies. I stroke its soft head, holding it close to me.

            Despite knowing the answer, I ask, ‘Can we take this one home?’ Mom laughs sarcastically.

            Auntie Gina shouts, ‘Teresa! Get the sack for me.’ My eldest cousin Teresa walks in with the sack for her mom. ‘Go to the lake for me,’ handing the box of other puppies to her, ‘I don’t feel well.’ She kisses her teeth at her mom, yanks the box and walks out. I ask Auntie Gina where the puppies are going and she tells me, ‘we’ll let them go. It’ll be worse to keep them and not be able to feed them.’