He thinks he has been wronged. He suspects that something may be amiss. He checks the phone messages, the mail, the email; he sneaks into his wife’s social media accounts…
“A-HA!”

  He reads some ominous messages; some secret conversations, something that might confirm his suspicions; something that may drive him to get off of his lazy ass and get
a job…

  …no, nothing quite so drastic.

  So, he badgers his wife, who he hasn’t noticed for quite some time. His suspicions give him an excuse to talk to her, thus validating her existence.

  He finds out all of the information he needs to know. This is it. This is his moment. He mans up. He struggles to find the energy to get dressed. He goes to the door.
He turns the knob on the door. He opens the door. He reaches in his pocket. He finds the keys to his car. He takes out the keys for his car. He sticks the key in the keyhole. He turns the lock. He opens the door. He sits down
in the seat. He sticks the key in the ignition. He turns the key in the ignition. He puts the car in drive. He drives the car. He drives for a short while. He drives past a 7-11. He turns the car around. He drives to the 7-11.
He parks the car. He walks up to the door of the 7-11. He opens the door. He walks into the 7-11. He heads towards the Slurpee machine. He gets a large Coca-Cola Slurpee. He carries the large Coca-Cola Slurpee to the check-out
counter. The cashier rings up the price. The man who is purchasing the large Coca-Cola Slurpee reaches into his front pocket. He pulls out thirteen cents; one thin dime and three thin cents, and a ball of lint. The cashier
tells him that is not the right amount. The man holding the large Coca-Cola Slurpee and the thin dime and the three thin cents and the ball of dryer lint sets the Slurpee down on the counter. He says he will be back. He gets
in his car. He drives home. He breaks open his kid’s piggy bank. He steals approximately fouir dollars in cents, dimes, and nickles. He gets back in his car. He sticks the key in the ignition. He turns the key. He heads
back to the 7-11. He walks into the 7-11. He pays the cashier for the large Coca-Cola Slurpee. He walks out with the Slurpee, and a pack of Double-Mint gum. He gets into his car. He gets back on the road. He chugs his Slurpee.
Too fast. Brain freeze! He pulls off the road. He waits for the blinding pain to subside. He gets back on the road. He drives for a short time. He pulls down a dark street. He scans the houses. He finds his target. He depresses
the gas pedal. The car accelerates. He roles down the window. He sticks his head out the window. He pushes the pedal down further. The car moves faster. He yells out the window.

  “Pussy!”

  Then he speeds away.

  With him, he takes his large Coca-Cola Slurpee, the pack of Double-Mint gum, the rest of his take from the piggy bank heist, and his dignity.

  Mission accomplished.

  He heads home, satisfied.

  He can go back to sleep now.